oFear - Anxiety and Phobia Forum
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stressed and hurting - becks_broken - 09-21-2008 08:19 AM

Wave hello everyone..i'm not sure if this is the right place to post whats bothering me or not...if it's not just let me know...i'm a dummy when it comes to a computer....

anyway i'm stressed, hurt, angry and upset...

I went to a funeral home last night to pay my respects to my cousin..she passed away on wednesday...she had 3 boys..there really hurting and upset..so i thought i would be nice and see if the boys wanted to go for a icecream or something...to try and ease their pain a little...boy, that was dumb...Their granpa my uncle jumped down my neck...told me to leave the boys alone..i was only trying to help...i know everyone is hurting and is upset, believe me i know..i had to burry my son and grandson dec.7th of o6...I know what it feelslike...i was only trying to help...i would never do anything to hurt them boys...not ever....now i feel really bad..i got upset and i left lastnight..i ended up going out and getting drunk..i have not drank anything for over 4 years...i'm sitting here tonight trying to figure out if i should go to the funeral tomorrow..

any advise you can give me?? anyone??

well thanks for listening everyone.....take care.. love and hugs becky....


Re: stressed and hurting - Divynething - 09-21-2008 08:42 AM

Hi Becky!

I don't think you did anything wrong in trying to get the boys out and get their minds off of everything thats going on.

As for your uncle, I think he was in the wrong to take his pain and anger out on you. But you do have to give him a little lee-way and remember he is hurting also and "hopefully" was just caught up in his grief when he said those things.

I'm very sorry to hear about your son and grandson also.

All in all though I think you should go to the funeral. You'll never have another chance to say goodbye and you will probably regret it if you don't go.

I wish you the best.


Re: stressed and hurting - Shy guy - 09-21-2008 08:53 AM

Hi Becky Wave

I am sorry to hear of your loss, I lost someone resently too.

becks_broken Wrote:...any advise you can give me?? anyone??

I agree with Divynething, don't bottle up your feelings, your uncle didn't, and go to the funeral in the knowledge you did nothing wrong.

Hope that helps. ssmile


Re: stressed and hurting - Divynething - 09-21-2008 08:57 AM

Shy Guy,

Sorry to hear about your loss also.


Re: stressed and hurting - Ana - 09-21-2008 09:01 AM

Hi Becky. Wave

I'm really sorry to hear of your loss's. I'm sure things are hard right now, and I think you should cut yourself some slack, and not worry that you upset anyone. Your Uncle sounds like he's upset, which is understandable. I'm sure that his outburst towards you was simply all the emotions he was feeling bottled up, and finaly surfacing.

I honestly don't think you did anything wrong.

About whether or not to go to the funeral...

Divynething Wrote:You'll never have another chance to say goodbye and you will probably regret it if you don't go.

I think Divynething said it best.

There'll only be one funeral, and I think you'd regret not going. I once decided not to attend the funeral of someone I loved, and I'll never forgive myself for it. So, speaking from experience, please, consider going. I think you'd regret it later on if you don't.

Best of luck anyways. Best wishes to you and your family as well.


Re: stressed and hurting - becks_broken - 09-21-2008 09:35 AM

thanks so much everyone.....