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Mine! - Ana - 10-12-2007 11:30 PM

My Diary.

Comments are welcome

Re: Ana - Ana - 10-13-2007 07:28 AM

October 12, 2007:

So, I thought I'd start my journal off with what I am currently suffering with. Here's the list:

-OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder)
-Situational Depression (Unfortunatly, a result of my OCD)
-Anxiety (Usualy in social situations)
-Shyness (I'm starting to think it's more than that though)

I think that covers it all.

So, about today?
Well, today was like every other day. I sat most of the day thinking of things that I should worry about. I worry about everything and anything. It's like everything and everyone is out to get me.
Well, there was more to today than that, but I don't feel like typing anymore out. Lol.

Re: Ana - Ana - 10-15-2007 12:10 AM

October 14, 2007:

Well, the weather's been really crummy here lately, so there hasn't really been much to do. It's so boring!

Re: Ana - Ana - 10-16-2007 08:22 AM

October 15, 2007:

Why must I be so judgemental about myself? Why do I need to tear myself apart each and everyday? I guess it's all control based. I always need to control something in my life, and I can control myself better than I can control anything else.
I hope that one day I can see what everyone else sees in me. I hope that one day, I'll stop hurting myself and learn to respect myself.

Re: Ana - Ana - 10-22-2007 12:24 PM

October 21, 2007:

Well, I guess my weekend went well... except for a few things.
We went out shopping and the stores were really, really, really busy. There were people all over and so many little kids running every which way. So, I was a little stressed out while we were out!
I was fine for about half an hour and then I noticed that I started to go pale and I felt light headed. So, I was positive that I was going to pass out, but then it passed and I was fine for a little while longer. Then, I got the worst headache ever and my head felt as if it was going to explode.
So... I was so happy to get out of the stores and head home.
I never thought I'd be that happy to be home!

Re: Ana - Ana - 10-28-2007 11:27 PM

October 28, 2007:

I've been thinking alot lately; mainely about friendships and relationships with my family members.
I've recently been told that I'm a hard person to get along with! Supposedly, I'm judgemental and I don't accept other people for who they are. Honestly, I think the person who said this needs to get to know me better because I do accept people for who they are and I'm no more judgemental than everyone else. Why do people always try to portray me as this horrible person?
I feel like I can never make anyone happy; I'm always trying to do better. It truely tears me apart inside because I'm always trying to be better. I feel as if my life is full of expectations and empty promises. I wish that I could set my own expectations, but I'm so busy trying to fufill those set by others.
I guess, all I want in the end is for people to accept me for who I am and not try to change me!
Why can't they do that?

Re: Ana - Ana - 10-31-2007 11:39 AM

October 30, 2007:

Today was one of those days that started out good and ended horribly! Everything started out good, but then it just went downhill and now I'm really depressed about it.
I was in touch with my school today and I have a feeling that they're really tired of having to deal with the things I'm asking them to deal with. Though, who else is suppose to deal with it? I can't run my schooling; they have to.
They just don't seem to understand. I'm not a drop out; I want to get my high school diploma. I just can't attend school. Simple as that. People don't understand and I can't walk around with a sign all day saying... "I act the way I do because I have OCD, Agorphobia, depression, anxiety problems... etc". They don't know, so they can't understand.
Even the people that do know don't understand!

Re: Ana - Ana - 01-15-2008 04:48 AM

January 14, 2008:

I haven't posted in here in forever!

I was reading over a few of very first posts here on Ofear and I've noticed alot of changes in some of my rituals, thoughts and fears. Some of them have gotten better and some are actualy gone.

Some progress...

[list][*] Before I would check every heating vent, outlet and door before I went out or before bed. I still do this, but the extent has lessoned.

[*] I had a fear of people judging me negetively. I still have this fear but it's not as bad.

[*] I used to check food expiration dates everytime I opened the fridge. I no longer do this.

[*] I used to spend approximatly 5-10 minutes at night making sure the doors were locked. I can usualy lock the doors within 5 minutes now.[/list:u]

Those are a few examples. There is more but I can't think of them all right now.

Re: Ana - Harold-L - 06-03-2008 09:28 AM

Hi new diary! shappy

Re: Ana - Ana - 06-03-2008 09:30 AM

Harold-L Wrote:Hi new diary! shappy

:shock: Get out!!!

Dear Diary,

Harold found my diary! :shock:

I'm in le strangest mood.

Re: Ana - Harold-L - 06-03-2008 09:35 AM

Me too shappy
And I think my back is looking for trouble smad

Re: Ana - Shinobi - 06-03-2008 09:36 AM

:laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

Re: Ana - Ana - 06-03-2008 09:41 AM

Your back's looking for trouble? :laugh: What are you on about?

French fries!

Re: Ana - Harold-L - 06-03-2008 09:42 AM

He pushed my kidney! smad

Re: Ana - Ana - 06-03-2008 09:51 AM

sconfused Tell him to stop!