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Eating Disorders - Printable Version

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Eating Disorders - Ana - 08-28-2007 11:26 AM

Well, I suppose this is where this topic goes?
Oh well, here it goes...

So, I've been big most of my life. Though about a year and a half back I lost ALOT of weight. I became THIN. People thought I had an eating disorder but I just laughed. As if they were crazy.
I began to get light headed and would have to sit down alot and rest. Then one day I passed out. The doctor said she thought I may be on my way to having an eating disorder. Again I laughed.
I lost some more weight and then my Mom stepped in. She told me that if I didn't gain some weight she'd have me hospitalized. So, I was confsued. I thought I was huge yet here was my family and friends shoving food down my throat!
So, I made a food journal one day.
All I ate all day was a banana for breakfast, a few crackers for lunch and a little bit of meat and potatoes for dinner.
I think it added up to about 500-700 cals. I also burnt a bunch because I was walking to school and back, as well as excercising once I got home.
So, It hought that maybe I did have an eating disorder.

I stopped starving myslef and started eating more. I gained weight and felt horrible.
I looked at myself in the mirror every morning and just cried.
Then, about 6 months ago I was surfing the net. I was looking for diets and came across a pro-ana (anorexia) site. I signed up. Started starving myself. Felt horrible. Binged (ate everything and anything).
I decided that starving wasn't the way to go and started eating good again. I was sick to my stomach alot once I started eating good again (probably because I was eating more than 500 calories). I started throwing up. It made me feel as if I was doing something wonderful for myself. As if all my problems would be solved once I was thin again.
So, right now I'm dieting. Counting every calorie and trying so hard to be healthy and lose weight. Though, for some strange reason, I still think about eating only 500 cals.
I think I may have an eating disorder. Though, I think you need to be underweight to be diagnosed with one. Please, correct me if I'm wrong.
Sorry for the long post, but I needed to vent and maybe seek some 'online' help.
I tryed to tell one of my parents that I think I have an eating disorder but they changed the subject.
Sadly, I'm scared that this may end up hurting me in the long run and I just need some direction and support!

Also, please don't judge me badly by this post. I do not support other people that have eating disorders but for me, as I said, starvation makes me feel good. I don't know why.


Re: Eating Disorders - Shy guy - 08-29-2007 07:10 AM

Hi Ana

I have read through this and some of your other food related posts and I am concerned about you. I am not an expert in eating disorders, however I do know the signs and yours are classic textbook.

I am willing to offer you on-line support both on forum and through PMs if you feel it will be of help. However I would like you to make an appointment with you doctor, tell them what you have told us and ask to be referred to a specialist.

Are you okay with this? Smile


Re: Eating Disorders - Ana - 08-29-2007 08:30 AM

Shy guy Wrote:Hi Ana

I have read through this and some of your other food related posts and I am concerned about you. I am not an expert in eating disorders, however I do know the signs and yours are classic textbook.

I am willing to offer you on-line support both on forum and through PMs if you feel it will be of help. However I would like you to make an appointment with you doctor, tell them what you have told us and ask to be referred to a specialist.

Are you okay with this? Smile

Thank you for your helpful reply, Shy guy!
Do you know if you need to be underweight to be diagnosed with an eating disorder?
I feel embarased to tell someone that I think I have an eating disorder because I'm afraid that they laugh, because my current body size doesn't exactly say 'eating disorder'. I'm 5'5 and weigh 155 lbs. I tell people I'm fat and they say I'm normal.
I just don't like it when people think it's just a ploy to get attention. I don't need attention, I need help. I feel like I'm falling apart. I feel ugly and HUGE.
I'm terrified that if I tell the doctor, they'll send me away to treatment or something. They can't right? If I'm not currently starving myself or vomiting/binging?
I'm currently eating healthy and well but it never lasts.
I've lost 10 pounds about a couple of weeks ago. I lost this weight within about 2-3 weeks. I know that's not healthy.
Sorry, I need to vent. I feel trapped and ashamed. I'd just love to tell my family I need help but you know sometimes it's hard.
Hopefully I'll get enough courage to talk to someone, but I'm not sure if I will until I have to. That's what I'm afraid of!
Again, thank you for the helpful post!


Re: Eating Disorders - Shy guy - 08-29-2007 03:24 PM

Ana Wrote:Thank you for your helpful reply, Shy guy!
Do you know if you need to be underweight to be diagnosed with an eating disorder?

No you do not need to be underweight to have an eating disorder. Most eating disorders are about feeling in control and our relationship with our self image. When people talk about being underweight they are usually referring to one specific type: anorexia nervosa. One symptom to look out for is amenorrhea (you stop having periods). The odd missed one is normal, more than three in a row isn't unless you are pregnant.

Quote:I feel embarased to tell someone that I think I have an eating disorder because I'm afraid that they laugh, because my current body size doesn't exactly say 'eating disorder'. I'm 5'5 and weigh 155 lbs. I tell people I'm fat and they say I'm normal.

Okay, this is not a diagnoses, you need to see your psychiatrist for that. However, you are presenting signs of bulimia nervosa so the fact you are about normal weight for your hight comes as no surprise to me. Smile

Quote:I just don't like it when people think it's just a ploy to get attention. I don't need attention, I need help. I feel like I'm falling apart. I feel ugly and HUGE.

You started at 15 and you are 16 now did you say? You have OCD, and an unusual relationship with food. You present the image of a girl with a very low self-esteem who need to talk and be listened to, not judged... I could go on but I think everyone here knows you are not an attention seeker. Smile

Feeling unattractive and being unattractive are two different things. What are your clothes like? Do they fit or do you wear them baggy in order to hid yourself? I used to try and hide my body shape, my legs are fine but even now my top half is very thin and boyish rather than manly, One day my best friend took me in hand and helped me choose some well tailored clothes in MY OWN SIZE rather than two size up. :O The transformation was incredible, I actually looked normal rather than skinny. Smile

Quote:I'm terrified that if I tell the doctor, they'll send me away to treatment or something. They can't right? If I'm not currently starving myself or vomiting/binging?

In the UK the only reason for hospitalisation with eating disorders would be if you were at risk of starving or committing suicide otherwise no. Treatment is most effective if you are somewhere you feel safe and supported.. Smile However if you see a psychotherapist, they may want to talk to your parents although at 16 you can alway say no.

Quote:I'm currently eating healthy and well but it never lasts.
I've lost 10 pounds about a couple of weeks ago. I lost this weight within about 2-3 weeks. I know that's not healthy.

Do you know what your triggers are?

Quote:Sorry, I need to vent. I feel trapped and ashamed. I'd just love to tell my family I need help but you know sometimes it's hard.

No need to apologise, I offered to listen, remember. Smile Can you say why you feel ashamed or is it just a feeling? As for families, I know exactly how you feel.. Sad

Quote:Hopefully I'll get enough courage to talk to someone, but I'm not sure if I will until I have to. That's what I'm afraid of!
Again, thank you for the helpful post!


Well you are talking with me which is a start. Smile Do you have a library nearby? I would like you to borrow a book. I think it would be helpful if we have a common frame of reference (CBT in this case) to work on. Is that okay with you or would you prefer to talk some more before deciding? Smile

Cooper, P. J. (1995) Bulimia Nervosa and Binge-Eating: A self-help guide using cognitive behavioral techniques. Constable and Robinson.


Re: Eating Disorders - Ana - 08-29-2007 09:54 PM

Quote:One symptom to look out for is amenorrhea (you stop having periods). The odd missed one is normal, more than three in a row isn't unless you are pregnant.

Well, I don't have amenorrhea. That was something that I was actualy worried about getting.

Quote:Okay, this is not a diagnoses, you need to see your psychiatrist for that. However, you are presenting signs of bulimia nervosa so the fact you are about normal weight for your hight comes as no surprise to me.

I do sound like I have a few of the symptoms of bulimia nervosa but I haven't vomited alot. I was only doing that for a short time. Most of the time I'm cutting calories.

Quote:You started at 15 and you are 16 now did you say? You have OCD, and an unusual relationship with food. You present the image of a girl with a very low self-esteem who need to talk and be listened to, not judged... I could go on but I think everyone here knows you are not an attention seeker.

Feeling unattractive and being unattractive are two different things. What are your clothes like? Do they fit or do you wear them baggy in order to hid yourself? I used to try and hide my body shape, my legs are fine but even now my top half is very thin and boyish rather than manly, One day my best friend took me in hand and helped me choose some well tailored clothes in MY OWN SIZE rather than two size up. The transformation was incredible, I actually looked normal rather than skinny.

Yes it started when I was 15 and I'm now 16.
Most of my clothes are somewhat baggy I guess. My pants are usualy well fitting. My shirts are usualy baggy; which makes scence because most of my weight is carried in my stomach region.

Quote:Do you know what your triggers are?

Honestly, no.
I watch tv and see those skinny girls that have the perfect lives and I guess I feel like I need to look like them to feel like them.
I look in a mirror and notice the extra flab on my stomach and think I look like huge.
Someone puts me down and I think it's because I'm ugly and fat.
I eat a bunch of junk and then say 'oh god I'm going to gain'.

Quote:No need to apologise, I offered to listen, remember. Can you say why you feel ashamed or is it just a feeling? As for families, I know exactly how you feel..

I feel ashamed because I pride myself in being a leader not a follower.
I'm looked at as the smart girl that is going to go somewhere and make something of herself.
I pride myself in being my own person and not going with the flow, following what other people are doing.
Yet, I do this to myself. I feel fake. Maybe I'm afraid that I'll disappoint the people who think I'm so smart and unique.

Quote:Well you are talking with me which is a start. Do you have a library nearby? I would like you to borrow a book. I think it would be helpful if we have a common frame of reference (CBT in this case) to work on. Is that okay with you or would you prefer to talk some more before deciding?

Cooper, P. J. (1995) Bulimia Nervosa and Binge-Eating: A self-help guide using cognitive behavioral techniques. Constable and Robinson.

I'm not sure if I'd go to the library and get a book on some thing like this.
I live in a small town and most people know my Mom. So, it's not really the best idea for me.


Re: Eating Disorders - Shy guy - 08-30-2007 07:00 AM

Hi Ana, how are you feeling today?

Ana Wrote:Well, I don't have amenorrhea. That was something that I was actualy worried about getting.

That is positive. It is something to hang onto if you have a bad day Smile

Quote:I do sound like I have a few of the symptoms of bulimia nervosa but I haven't vomited alot. I was only doing that for a short time. Most of the time I'm cutting calories.


Okay, how do you feel about eating in front of others? Do you prepare food for others but not yourself? You have already mentioned food contamination in another thread - do you ever hide food or move it to a different cupboard away from everyone else's? My point is eating disorders are not only about what you are and are not eating they follow a set of unwritten rules in just the same way as my SP matches most other people here.

Quote:Most of my clothes are somewhat baggy I guess. My pants are usualy well fitting. My shirts are usualy baggy; which makes scence because most of my weight is carried in my stomach region.

See, just like me, you are subconiously trying to hide the bits you feel most uncomfortable about.

Quote:Do you know what your triggers are?

Quote:Honestly, no.
I watch tv and see those skinny girls that have the perfect lives and I guess I feel like I need to look like them to feel like them.

I would not say anyone on TV has a perfect life, however this is not about them. How would your perfect life differ from the one you have now? Not just looks, everything. Smile

Quote:I look in a mirror and notice the extra flab on my stomach and think I look like huge.

Are you sure it is fat and not untoned muscle? sometimes looks can be deceiving.

Quote:Someone puts me down and I think it's because I'm ugly and fat.
I eat a bunch of junk and then say 'oh god I'm going to gain'.

This shows your relationship with eating and self-esteem. May I ask in what way do they put you down? While I can see you are having a few problems, I also see someone who is surprisingly mature, intelligent, observant, caring and a moderator at sixteen.

Quote:I feel ashamed because I pride myself in being a leader not a follower.
I'm looked at as the smart girl that is going to go somewhere and make something of herself.
I pride myself in being my own person and not going with the flow, following what other people are doing.
Yet, I do this to myself. I feel fake. Maybe I'm afraid that I'll disappoint the people who think I'm so smart and unique.

I think it was Hill who asked: if people are unique why am I doing case studies? Big Grin Seriously though, have you notice how many of us share a common set of problems beyond our diagnosis? As I have already said you are very intelligent. Is there anything you would really like to do when you are older - uni, profession, start a family perhaps?

One of the thing I have noticed is you are applying all or nothing thinking to your situation. I think you can be both smart and successful in some areas of your life while others need a little bit of help. Do you agree? Smile

Quote:I'm not sure if I'd go to the library and get a book on some thing like this.
I live in a small town and most people know my Mom. So, it's not really the best idea for me.

I understand. That is okay, we will try it another way. Smile

I am sure you know this already but I want the chance to show off a little. Wink When we reduce our calorie intake below a certain level our metabolism slows down and we find it harder to maintain our idea weight - which in your case is about 149 lbs. What I would like you to do is to try and eat 1500 calories a day. Do not worry if you have to space it out through out the day, or if you cannot manage some days you are not letting anyone down. Smile I do want you to keep a record in your food diary though.

Exercise: three times a week for about 30 minutes a session.

Weighing: no more than once a week and as muscle is denser than fat I want you to measure your waist and hips at the same time.

Finally I want you to start a thought diary - I want you to record any negative thoughts that pop into you head and rate 0 -10 how much they bother you and then I want you to look for an alternative thought. Say if someone upsets you ask yourself if it is really you or could they be having an off day and are not mature enough to handle it?

Does this sound any better or do I need to try harder? Smile

By the way what is the green grinning smiley used for? I cannot work him out. Confused


Re: Eating Disorders - Ana - 08-30-2007 08:03 AM

Quote:Hi Ana, how are you feeling today?

I'm good, thank you. How are you?

Quote:That is positive. It is something to hang onto if you have a bad day

True.

Quote:Okay, how do you feel about eating in front of others? Do you prepare food for others but not yourself? You have already mentioned food contamination in another thread - do you ever hide food or move it to a different cupboard away from everyone else's? My point is eating disorders are not only about what you are and are not eating they follow a set of unwritten rules in just the same way as my SP matches most other people here.

Well, I hate eating infront of others. I always cover my mouth with my hand.
Yes, lately I've been preparing food and not really eating it. If I do eat, it's just a little.
I also buy low cal food and what not for myself which I put in seperate parts of the cupboard.

Quote:I would not say anyone on TV has a perfect life, however this is not about them. How would your perfect life differ from the one you have now? Not just looks, everything.

Well, if I could perfect my life I'd probably change my looks, make myself smarter, make my family wealthier, get rid of my OCD and make myself more outgoing.

Quote:Are you sure it is fat and not untoned muscle? sometimes looks can be deceiving.

I think it's 50-50. 50% extra fat and 50% untoned muscle.

Quote:This shows your relationship with eating and self-esteem. May I ask in what way do they put you down? While I can see you are having a few problems, I also see someone who is surprisingly mature, intelligent, observant, caring and a moderator at sixteen.

Well, some of my family members will say 'well instead of eating that why not have an apple'. Some people call me fat to hurt me because they know that that's something that will really get to me. I lose a few pounds and tell my parents because I'm so excited and all they say is 'Well, that's nice'. I see a nice shirt in a store and show it to my parent and they say well, that won't really suite your frame.
Thank you for the kind words.

Quote:I think it was Hill who asked: if people are unique why am I doing case studies? Seriously though, have you notice how many of us share a common set of problems beyond our diagnosis? As I have already said you are very intelligent. Is there anything you would really like to do when you are older - uni, profession, start a family perhaps?

One of the thing I have noticed is you are applying all or nothing thinking to your situation. I think you can be both smart and successful in some areas of your life while others need a little bit of help. Do you agree?

Well, I'd like to go to college, get some of my poetry published, and maybe start a family.
Yes I agree that I need to focus on certain aspects of my life and possibly enhance them.

Quote:I am sure you know this already but I want the chance to show off a little. When we reduce our calorie intake below a certain level our metabolism slows down and we find it harder to maintain our idea weight - which in your case is about 149 lbs. What I would like you to do is to try and eat 1500 calories a day. Do not worry if you have to space it out through out the day, or if you cannot manage some days you are not letting anyone down. I do want you to keep a record in your food diary though.

I was actualy told my ideal weight is 120-130 lbs. Is it really 149 lbs? If so- yay!!
Well, I tossed my food journal. :roll: I was slightly mad.
So, I guess I'll either find another one or post on here.

Quote:Does this sound any better or do I need to try harder?

Sounds great!

Quote:By the way what is the green grinning smiley used for? I cannot work him out. Confused

It's just a funny smily face. Use it after a joke or what not.

Such as...

"Haha, I ment to fall! :mrgreen: "


Re: Eating Disorders - Shy guy - 08-31-2007 06:22 AM

Ana Wrote:
Quote:Hi Ana, how are you feeling today?

I'm good, thank you. How are you?

I feel good today thank you. I managed to get my AvPD under control again. Smile

Quote:Okay, how do you feel about eating in front of others? Do you prepare food for others but not yourself? You have already mentioned food contamination in another thread - do you ever hide food or move it to a different cupboard away from everyone else's? My point is eating disorders are not only about what you are and are not eating they follow a set of unwritten rules in just the same way as my SP matches most other people here.

Well, I hate eating infront of others. I always cover my mouth with my hand.
Yes, lately I've been preparing food and not really eating it. If I do eat, it's just a little.
I also buy low cal food and what not for myself which I put in seperate parts of the cupboard.

Well as you already know you have all the signs of an eating disorder. On a positive note at least we now know what we are up against and how to treat it.

Quote:I would not say anyone on TV has a perfect life, however this is not about them. How would your perfect life differ from the one you have now? Not just looks, everything.

Well, if I could perfect my life I'd probably change my looks, make myself smarter, make my family wealthier, get rid of my OCD and make myself more outgoing.

This will sound like a cliché but bear me out. In the real world looks are not everything a lot has to do with bearing, presentation, and dress (or style). By adopting the norms of the in-group you can get a lot further than on looks alone although I cannot imagine you as a 'sheep' somehow. Having said that I have no idea what you look like, for all we know you are already pretty an just lack confidence in your looks. Do you have any friends you can trust to give you an honest opinion?

Smarter in what way? I can see you are intelligent from the quality of your posts.

Family wealth: You are planning to go to college, I would say you are on to a good start. However, I would say having a daughter like you will have already enriched their lives whether they show it or not. (The last bit wont make sense until you have children of your own Smile ) I am not sure if you will get rid of the OCD completely, but with the right treatment you can get it under control and stop it ruining your life.

More outgoing: This is where we both need help from the rest of the group. I have suffered from SP most of my life and more recently I have developed AvPD. Simply put, I try to avoid any sort of contact with other people. Without the meds I would not be able to function. Having said that, I do think college will be good for you, it will give you a chance to grow away from your town.

Quote:Are you sure it is fat and not untoned muscle? sometimes looks can be deceiving.

I think it's 50-50. 50% extra fat and 50% untoned muscle.

I think we can sort both problems with the right exercises. Have you tried any circuit training? If not try to find someone to show you how to do it. Six to eight weeks of abdominal crunches and you will have a flat tummy without having to starve yourself.

Quote:This shows your relationship with eating and self-esteem. May I ask in what way do they put you down? While I can see you are having a few problems, I also see someone who is surprisingly mature, intelligent, observant, caring and a moderator at sixteen.

Well, some of my family members will say 'well instead of eating that why not have an apple'. Some people call me fat to hurt me because they know that that's something that will really get to me. I lose a few pounds and tell my parents because I'm so excited and all they say is 'Well, that's nice'. I see a nice shirt in a store and show it to my parent and they say well, that won't really suite your frame.

I can relate to the family problems as they are very similar to mine... Controlling parents who never listened to me even when I was in my thirties. They still deny any responsibility for destroying my relationship with my partner. As for the ones who call you fat, this is what I mean by maturity levels. The human brain stops growing at around 23 years old So you have a period in limbo from about 14 - 25 where you make the transition from child to adulthood. In your case you are very mature for your age, whereas the person calling you names is still a child. I know it still hurts, but do you think you can rise above it and work on our exercises? By the way I am very proud of you for asking for help, lots of people never do.

Quote:I think it was Hill who asked: if people are unique why am I doing case studies? Seriously though, have you notice how many of us share a common set of problems beyond our diagnosis? As I have already said you are very intelligent. Is there anything you would really like to do when you are older - uni, profession, start a family perhaps?

One of the thing I have noticed is you are applying all or nothing thinking to your situation. I think you can be both smart and successful in some areas of your life while others need a little bit of help. Do you agree?

Well, I'd like to go to college, get some of my poetry published, and maybe start a family.
Yes I agree that I need to focus on certain aspects of my life and possibly enhance them.

Have you thought about your 'major' yet. What kind of subjects interest you? The poetry sounds interesting, have you submitted to any publishers yet? I am trying to write my book reviews for the 'entertainment' forum, but as usually I am worried that people will find me boring. This is called a Negative Automatic thought (NAT) in CBT and most of them occur on a subconscious level. This is just my SP talking, in actual fact it does not matter if people find me boring as long as I give a useful appraisal of the books I am recommending.

Quote:I am sure you know this already but I want the chance to show off a little. When we reduce our calorie intake below a certain level our metabolism slows down and we find it harder to maintain our idea weight - which in your case is about 149 lbs. What I would like you to do is to try and eat 1500 calories a day. Do not worry if you have to space it out through out the day, or if you cannot manage some days you are not letting anyone down. I do want you to keep a record in your food diary though.

I was actualy told my ideal weight is 120-130 lbs. Is it really 149 lbs? If so- yay!!

As you are under 20 it depends on your date of birth. For example:if you were born before April 1991 then 149 lbs is fine. However if your birthday falls between May and August then a 148 lbs is better.

Quote:Well, I tossed my food journal. :roll: I was slightly mad.
So, I guess I'll either find another one or post on here.

:lol: New journal, new start?

Quote:Does this sound any better or do I need to try harder?

Sounds great!

=D

Quote:By the way what is the green grinning smiley used for? I cannot work him out. Confused

It's just a funny smily face. Use it after a joke or what not.

Such as...

"Haha, I ment to fall! :mrgreen: "

Ah! I think I may have got a little carried away with the smileys. Perhaps I am not as clever as I first thought. Wink


Re: Eating Disorders - Ana - 08-31-2007 07:50 AM

Quote:I feel good today thank you. I managed to get my AvPD under control again.

I'm glad to hear that. Big Grin

Quote:Well as you already know you have all the signs of an eating disorder. On a positive note at least we now know what we are up against and how to treat it.

True.

Quote:This will sound like a cliché but bear me out. In the real world looks are not everything a lot has to do with bearing, presentation, and dress (or style). By adopting the norms of the in-group you can get a lot further than on looks alone although I cannot imagine you as a 'sheep' somehow. Having said that I have no idea what you look like, for all we know you are already pretty an just lack confidence in your looks. Do you have any friends you can trust to give you an honest opinion?

Smarter in what way? I can see you are intelligent from the quality of your posts.

Family wealth: You are planning to go to college, I would say you are on to a good start. However, I would say having a daughter like you will have already enriched their lives whether they show it or not. (The last bit wont make sense until you have children of your own ) I am not sure if you will get rid of the OCD completely, but with the right treatment you can get it under control and stop it ruining your life.

More outgoing: This is where we both need help from the rest of the group. I have suffered from SP most of my life and more recently I have developed AvPD. Simply put, I try to avoid any sort of contact with other people. Without the meds I would not be able to function. Having said that, I do think college will be good for you, it will give you a chance to grow away from your town.

I know looks aren't anything in the 'real world' but think back to when you were sixteen. I'm not sure if 'high school world' and the 'real world' are the same thing.
I guess life only revolves around certain things when your a teenager. Though, I should focus some on the future aswell.
Well, I had a friend that use to call me 'pretty' when I was thinner. Though, I've only been called pretty by adults lately. So, I don't really think I'd feel comfortable asking a friend what they honestly thought about the way I look.
If I was alowed to upload a photo I would, but my parents won't let me.


Quote:I think we can sort both problems with the right exercises. Have you tried any circuit training? If not try to find someone to show you how to do it. Six to eight weeks of abdominal crunches and you will have a flat tummy without having to starve yourself.

Well, lately I've been doing abdominal crunches and oblique crunches. Also pilates every once in a while. I haven't been doing them daily though, that may be my problem.

Quote:I can relate to the family problems as they are very similar to mine... Controlling parents who never listened to me even when I was in my thirties. They still deny any responsibility for destroying my relationship with my partner. As for the ones who call you fat, this is what I mean by maturity levels. The human brain stops growing at around 23 years old So you have a period in limbo from about 14 - 25 where you make the transition from child to adulthood. In your case you are very mature for your age, whereas the person calling you names is still a child. I know it still hurts, but do you think you can rise above it and work on our exercises? By the way I am very proud of you for asking for help, lots of people never do.

I know I should just ignore those mean things they say, but as you said, it still hurts.

Quote:Have you thought about your 'major' yet. What kind of subjects interest you? The poetry sounds interesting, have you submitted to any publishers yet? I am trying to write my book reviews for the 'entertainment' forum, but as usually I am worried that people will find me boring. This is called a Negative Automatic thought (NAT) in CBT and most of them occur on a subconscious level. This is just my SP talking, in actual fact it does not matter if people find me boring as long as I give a useful appraisal of the books I am recommending.

Well, I love reading and writing so I'll probably major in english.
No I haven't submitted to any publishers yet, though I'd like to.
Well your posts are very well written, so I'm sure your book reviews will be fantastic!

Quote:As you are under 20 it depends on your date of birth. For example:if you were born before April 1991 then 149 lbs is fine. However if your birthday falls between May and August then a 148 lbs is better.

I was born in April. So I guess it is 149 lbs.

Quote: New journal, new start?

Sounds like a good idea!

Quote:Ah! I think I may have got a little carried away with the smileys. Perhaps I am not as clever as I first thought.

:lol:
You can never use too many smilies!


Re: Eating Disorders - Shy guy - 09-01-2007 10:29 AM

Ana Wrote:
Shy guy Wrote:
Quote:This will sound like a cliché but bear me out. In the real world looks are not everything a lot has to do with bearing, presentation, and dress (or style). By adopting the norms of the in-group you can get a lot further than on looks alone although I cannot imagine you as a 'sheep' somehow. Having said that I have no idea what you look like, for all we know you are already pretty an just lack confidence in your looks. Do you have any friends you can trust to give you an honest opinion?

I know looks aren't anything in the 'real world' but think back to when you were sixteen. I'm not sure if 'high school world' and the 'real world' are the same thing.

They are not thank goodness. I was bullied by the children and teachers alike. Your 'salvation' will come when you get to college. Smile

Quote:I guess life only revolves around certain things when your a teenager. Though, I should focus some on the future aswell.

Mmmm, a 'should' statement, watch out for those. 'Must' and 'sould' statements are what we refer to as underlying rules; we use them to form a 'core self', however, we rarely challenge these beliefs to see if they are true.

Quote:Well, I had a friend that use to call me 'pretty' when I was thinner. Though, I've only been called pretty by adults lately. So, I don't really think I'd feel comfortable asking a friend what they honestly thought about the way I look.

I understand. We will have to think of another way of tackling this problem then. Smile

Quote:If I was alowed to upload a photo I would, but my parents won't let me.

You might not like this but I agree with your parents. We have both revealed a lot of personal stuff on a public forum in my opinion we would open ourselves up to too much personal risk by posting a photograph as well. We will need to think of another way.... Does anyone else have any suggestions?

Quote:I think we can sort both problems with the right exercises. Have you tried any circuit training? If not try to find someone to show you how to do it. Six to eight weeks of abdominal crunches and you will have a flat tummy without having to starve yourself.

Well, lately I've been doing abdominal crunches and oblique crunches. Also pilates every once in a while. I haven't been doing them daily though, that may be my problem.

Okay that is good, but you need to do them three times a week to get the benefit. On the 'rest' days you need a different exercise - say walking to school or swiming would be good. Pilates, I am not sure about. Does anyone know how many times a week it should be practiced?

Quote:I can relate to the family problems as they are very similar to mine... Controlling parents who never listened to me even when I was in my thirties. They still deny any responsibility for destroying my relationship with my partner. As for the ones who call you fat, this is what I mean by maturity levels. The human brain stops growing at around 23 years old So you have a period in limbo from about 14 - 25 where you make the transition from child to adulthood. In your case you are very mature for your age, whereas the person calling you names is still a child. I know it still hurts, but do you think you can rise above it and work on our exercises? By the way I am very proud of you for asking for help, lots of people never do.

I know I should just ignore those mean things they say, but as you said, it still hurts.

Again a 'should' statement and this one is not true. Let me explain: It is not the words that hurt, it is the meaning we attach to them. For example; if the same person who commented on your weight pointed at you and said "You are a pirate!" what would you Automatic thought be? Mine would be "...And yes you [the person speaking] are a contemptuous moron". Now this is where the thought diary comes in. If we can identify our NATS we can replace them with something more realistic. For example; If x tell you are fat instead of thinking they are right and getting upset a more helpful and realistic thought would be "I am not overweight, I am six pounds into the 'watch zone' which I am getting help with and soon I will bloom - you [the speaker] on the other hand will always be a moron". Smile This will make more sense as we work though the CBT exercises together. Smile

Quote:Have you thought about your 'major' yet. What kind of subjects interest you? The poetry sounds interesting, have you submitted to any publishers yet? I am trying to write my book reviews for the 'entertainment' forum, but as usually I am worried that people will find me boring. This is called a Negative Automatic thought (NAT) in CBT and most of them occur on a subconscious level. This is just my SP talking, in actual fact it does not matter if people find me boring as long as I give a useful appraisal of the books I am recommending.

Well, I love reading and writing so I'll probably major in english.

That is a good choice for your first degree. It will give you a sound foundation for whatever you decide to pursue in life. Smile

Quote:No I haven't submitted to any publishers yet, though I'd like to.

What is holding you back do you think? Perhaps it is something we can work on?

Quote:Well your posts are very well written, so I'm sure your book reviews will be fantastic!

Thank you. Smile

Quote:As you are under 20 it depends on your date of birth. For example:if you were born before April 1991 then 149 lbs is fine. However if your birthday falls between May and August then a 148 lbs is better.

I was born in April. So I guess it is 149 lbs.

Hurrah! I got it right. (or the chart did}. Big Grin

Quote:Ah! I think I may have got a little carried away with the smileys. Perhaps I am not as clever as I first thought.

:lol:
You can never use too many smilies!

Big Grin


Re: Eating Disorders - Ana - 09-01-2007 12:03 PM

Quote:They are not thank goodness. I was bullied by the children and teachers alike. Your 'salvation' will come when you get to college.

I've heard from many people that college/university were the best years of their life.

Quote:Mmmm, a 'should' statement, watch out for those. 'Must' and 'sould' statements are what we refer to as underlying rules; we use them to form a 'core self', however, we rarely challenge these beliefs to see if they are true.

Understood.
Must and should; two totaly different things.

Quote:I understand. We will have to think of another way of tackling this problem then.

Yes, but I've been thinking; does it really matter if I'm pretty? Or even how much I way?
There's plus size models out there that are absolutly gorgeous! Then there's really skinny models which are also gorgeous. Though, does it matter how big or small you are or if you were born with natural beauty or have to 'paint upon a blank canvas'?
As you said earlier, clothes, makeup and personal style are a big part of the way people perceive you.
Maybe I just need to focus more on my clothing and what not? I'm not sure.

As you can see, I did alot of thinking today. Positive thinking!
Though, tomorrow I'll probably not be thinking this way.

Quote:You might not like this but I agree with your parents. We have both revealed a lot of personal stuff on a public forum in my opinion we would open ourselves up to too much personal risk by posting a photograph as well. We will need to think of another way.... Does anyone else have any suggestions?

I also agree with my parents. Honestly, I don't think I'd feel very comfortable posting a photo because of the trouble with the internet now a days.
I understand what you mean by 'opening up too much on the internet'. Though, I usualy don't narrow down the area in which I live, post my last or middle name, and all that other personal information.

Quote:Okay that is good, but you need to do them three times a week to get the benefit. On the 'rest' days you need a different exercise - say walking to school or swiming would be good. Pilates, I am not sure about. Does anyone know how many times a week it should be practiced?

I think pilates is ok to be done three to five times a week.

Quote:Again a 'should' statement and this one is not true. Let me explain: It is not the words that hurt, it is the meaning we attach to them. For example; if the same person who commented on your weight pointed at you and said "You are a pirate!" what would you Automatic thought be? Mine would be "...And yes you [the person speaking] are a contemptuous moron". Now this is where the thought diary comes in. If we can identify our NATS we can replace them with something more realistic. For example; If x tell you are fat instead of thinking they are right and getting upset a more helpful and realistic thought would be "I am not overweight, I am six pounds into the 'watch zone' which I am getting help with and soon I will bloom - you [the speaker] on the other hand will always be a moron". This will make more sense as we work though the CBT exercises together.

This makes complete sense to me.

Quote:What is holding you back do you think? Perhaps it is something we can work on?

I just haven't found the time or have enough information on how to go about it.

Quote:



Re: Eating Disorders - Shy guy - 09-02-2007 08:12 AM

Ana Wrote:
Shy guy Wrote:They are not thank goodness. I was bullied by the children and teachers alike. Your 'salvation' will come when you get to college.

I've heard from many people that college/university were the best years of their life.

Yes there are still a few idiots but the atmosphere is more relaxed, most of the lecturers and professors are easy to talk to, and their depth of knowledge is incredible. Smile

Quote:Mmmm, a 'should' statement, watch out for those. 'Must' and 'sould' statements are what we refer to as underlying rules; we use them to form a 'core self', however, we rarely challenge these beliefs to see if they are true.

Understood.
Must and should; two totaly different things.

Smile

Quote:I understand. We will have to think of another way of tackling this problem then.

Yes, but I've been thinking; does it really matter if I'm pretty? Or even how much I way?
There's plus size models out there that are absolutly gorgeous! Then there's really skinny models which are also gorgeous. Though, does it matter how big or small you are or if you were born with natural beauty or have to 'paint upon a blank canvas'?
As you said earlier, clothes, makeup and personal style are a big part of the way people perceive you.
Maybe I just need to focus more on my clothing and what not? I'm not sure.

I would say, yes focus on making the best of what you are now. We can always work on the other aspects as we go along.

Quote:As you can see, I did alot of thinking today. Positive thinking!
Though, tomorrow I'll probably not be thinking this way.

I am really proud of how well you are doing. Just remember we all have off days though so if you need to talk leave a message on the boards or PM me. Smile

Quote:Okay that is good, but you need to do them three times a week to get the benefit. On the 'rest' days you need a different exercise - say walking to school or swiming would be good. Pilates, I am not sure about. Does anyone know how many times a week it should be practiced?

I think pilates is ok to be done three to five times a week.

That is sorted then - I just need to draw up a 'food and exercise diary'.

Quote:Again a 'should' statement and this one is not true. Let me explain: It is not the words that hurt, it is the meaning we attach to them. For example; if the same person who commented on your weight pointed at you and said "You are a pirate!" what would you Automatic thought be? Mine would be "...And yes you [the person speaking] are a contemptuous moron". Now this is where the thought diary comes in. If we can identify our NATS we can replace them with something more realistic. For example; If x tell you are fat instead of thinking they are right and getting upset a more helpful and realistic thought would be "I am not overweight, I am six pounds into the 'watch zone' which I am getting help with and soon I will bloom - you [the speaker] on the other hand will always be a moron". This will make more sense as we work though the CBT exercises together.

This makes complete sense to me.

Great. I will draw up a 'thought diary' too. Smile

Quote:What is holding you back do you think? Perhaps it is something we can work on?

I just haven't found the time or have enough information on how to go about it.

Have you tried the Writers' and Artists' Yearbook? I would try borrow a copy from the library. From that you can build a list of editors and publishers to contact. Write in and ask them for advice or a copy of their submission guidelines. I am sure you will find at least one or two who are willing to help.


Re: Eating Disorders - Ana - 09-02-2007 11:40 AM

Quote:Yes there are still a few idiots but the atmosphere is more relaxed, most of the lecturers and professors are easy to talk to, and their depth of knowledge is incredible.

Well, I'm sure there's idiots present in each stage in life!
Yes, I'm actualy looking forward to having knowledgable professors. Not that elemetary/high school teachers are less knowledgable, it's just that they usualy teach more than one subject and professors are usualy dedicated to one subject.

Quote:I would say, yes focus on making the best of what you are now. We can always work on the other aspects as we go along.

Well, I think the whole point I'm trying to make myself understand is that you can't change who you are.

Quote:I am really proud of how well you are doing. Just remember we all have off days though so if you need to talk leave a message on the boards or PM me.

Ok, thank you.

Quote:That is sorted then - I just need to draw up a 'food and exercise diary'.

Ok.

Quote:Great. I will draw up a 'thought diary' too.

Sounds good to me.

Quote:Have you tried the Writers' and Artists' Yearbook? I would try borrow a copy from the library. From that you can build a list of editors and publishers to contact. Write in and ask them for advice or a copy of their submission guidelines. I am sure you will find at least one or two who are willing to help.

No, I haven't even heard of that book before. Next time I'm out I'll take a look at the public library, though I can't garantee they'll have it; they don't have the best selection.


Re: Eating Disorders - Shy guy - 09-03-2007 09:51 AM

Ana Wrote:
Shy guy Wrote:Yes there are still a few idiots but the atmosphere is more relaxed, most of the lecturers and professors are easy to talk to, and their depth of knowledge is incredible.

Well, I'm sure there's idiots present in each stage in life!

True and what I find remarkable is I they all seem to brim with confidence. Perhaps this is our problem - we are just too intelligent. Wink

Quote:Yes, I'm actualy looking forward to having knowledgable professors. Not that elemetary/high school teachers are less knowledgable, it's just that they usualy teach more than one subject and professors are usualy dedicated to one subject.

Smile

Quote:I would say, yes focus on making the best of what you are now. We can always work on the other aspects as we go along.

Well, I think the whole point I'm trying to make myself understand is that you can't change who you are.

Actually we can change to a certain extent; we can grow as health individuals. It is just a matter of going about it the right way. Smile

Quote:That is sorted then - I just need to draw up a 'food and exercise diary'.

Ok.

A lesson was learnt today: I cannot post .pdf files here. I will have to think of something else.


Re: Eating Disorders - Ana - 09-03-2007 11:31 AM

Quote:True and what I find remarkable is I they all seem to brim with confidence. Perhaps this is our problem - we are just too intelligent.

:lol:

Quote:Actually we can change to a certain extent; we can grow as health individuals. It is just a matter of going about it the right way.

Yes we can change to an extent, though there are aspects of us that we can't change. I guess, nowadays, if you have enough money, you can change anything about yourself. :lol: Unfortunatly.

Quote:A lesson was learnt today: I cannot post .pdf files here. I will have to think of something else.

:lol: All this technical mumble jumble confusess me. I have no clue what a .pdf file is.