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Coming out of the SA closet :o - Printable Version

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Coming out of the SA closet :o - Harold-L - 07-27-2011 12:12 AM

How honest are you towards others when it comes to your social anxiety? Are you open about it? Or do you try to keep it a secret?

I have mixed feelings about "coming out" with my social phobia. I don't like the idea of using it as an excuse not to act "normal". But, I also feel the need to explain my problems to people, so that they know why I act the way I do. I'd rather have them know that I have social issues, than to have them think that I'm being rude and mean, or that I'm dumb.
At the same time, I don't really dare telling most people.Laughing6 At school, I've told teachers. Mostly to get out of presentations and stuff. I kind of feel the need to explain to my co-workers why I act the way I do too though. They seem like pretty accepting people, and a couple of them have proved to be very open about their own lives. One told me about her fight with breast cancer for example. So I don't really feel that they would judge me badly for bringing it up. But I've never really found an appropiate time to bring it up either. I mean, I'm not just going to say "I've got social phobia!005_sdrool" out of the blue like that. So ...yeah.

So I was wondering how you guys feel about bringing these things out in the open. Have you ever done it? Do you ever feel like doing it?005_stongue


RE: Coming out of the SA closet :o - Josephus - 07-27-2011 12:33 AM

People who know me know that I'm extremely shy/quiet, etc. They may not refer to it as "social anxiety" or "agoraphobia" or whatever, but they know the effects of it. I mean, it's pretty obvious that something is up with me.Laughing6 But no, I don't typically come out & tell new people that I have a disorder. Not like they'd understand anyway. Although, I've done it a few times online, just not in real life.


RE: Coming out of the SA closet :o - luba - 07-27-2011 01:33 AM

I was shy and quiet once upon a time. I was that way because I honestly thought everyone was better than me, that I was the only one with issues. As time went by and by 'studying' people, I found everyone had their own 'issues', too, and that no one seems to escape them. That helped me to relax and accept myself, that I was a good and humble person, who really didn't want to hurt anybody at all. That was a major breakthrough for me.


Quote:So I was wondering how you guys feel about bringing these things out in the open. Have you ever done it? Do you ever feel like doing it?

I've only done that with people that I wanted as friends in real life and online. I also find that once you accept yourself and the person that you are, it just shows through to those people that want to get close to you, and you don't even have to do a thing.


RE: Coming out of the SA closet :o - Harold-L - 07-27-2011 11:39 PM

Quote:People who know me know that I'm extremely shy/quiet, etc. They may not refer to it as "social anxiety" or "agoraphobia" or whatever, but they know the effects of it. I mean, it's pretty obvious that something is up with me.Laughing6 But no, I don't typically come out & tell new people that I have a disorder. Not like they'd understand anyway. Although, I've done it a few times online, just not in real life.
Yeah it's difficult to hide something like this. But that's also what bugs me, people know that something is up, but most people will probably not figure out that it's social phobia. I mean, how well known is social anxiety really? People might have heard of it, but they don't really know what it is.
I don't like the idea of people taking me for an idiot or something. I mean, I really can act foolish, as if I don't understand things going on around me. And the thing is that I do understand what's going on, I just don't know how to react to it. So it scares me to think that people think I'm unintelligent.005_sconfused
Not that I think I'm intelligent. But I'm not THAT unintelligent.Laughing6

Quote:I was shy and quiet once upon a time. I was that way because I honestly thought everyone was better than me, that I was the only one with issues. As time went by and by 'studying' people, I found everyone had their own 'issues', too, and that no one seems to escape them. That helped me to relax and accept myself, that I was a good and humble person, who really didn't want to hurt anybody at all. That was a major breakthrough for me.
That's nice.Blob5
...I wish I could feel that way too.Laughing6 I don't really tend to come to the same realisation when I study people. People seem ...so issue free. The way they interact with one another, how they laugh, show emotions openly. It all seems so effortless. They always seem to know the right thing to say, as if they have a script or something.
People may have issues, but it doesn't seem as if the majority of them let those issues take over their lives. Me ...I am my issues. So I have trouble not feeling worse than others.005_sconfused

Sorry, I've been in a lousy mood lately.Laughing6


RE: Coming out of the SA closet :o - Slaka - 07-28-2011 11:38 PM

I never have said I have "social anxiety" and I leave it at saying "I have anxiety problems." I will not say it at my job really because I'm concerned I will be looked at as "crazy" and could honestly loose my job for that. But before I have had a panic attack in front of my boss so I was obligated to explain that I have anxiety issues. When it comes to friends, everyone knows. Finally my mom gets it cuz every now and then she sees me start to have one and realizes now I actually need medicine for it (except when I am really bad, one pill wont help me enough and I have to listen to "HAVE YOU TAKEN YOUR MEDICINE???!?" not pleasant either but at least she gets I am the way I am because of my anxiety. I am worried about my job with it, but in any other public situation I am not really ashamed of it at all. It is part of me, and possibly/likely will always be part of me. If someone cant accept that or is bothered by it that is their problem, not mine.


RE: Coming out of the SA closet :o - Snooks - 07-30-2011 07:50 AM

Quote:I am not really ashamed of it at all. It is part of me, and possibly/likely will always be part of me. If someone cant accept that or is bothered by it that is their problem, not mine.

I am a bit concerned with the "I am not really" part Sad

Youve got nothing to be ashamed or embarrassed about and if people find it uncomy, or an issue.....well stiff shi*t. You are you. i am me......no right and no wrong.......and sure as hell that no one is perfect Smile


RE: Coming out of the SA closet :o - Slaka - 08-03-2011 05:28 PM

Its only really bad when its like at work or something 'important' to that effect that bothers me. I don't do well stuttering and my face getting all red and such! I do really bad in front of the big bosses and thats what gets me! I always just end up telling my manger "if you haven't guessed I have anxiety problems and thats why 'this' happened" lol. Other wise I laugh about it. My friends kinda find it funny (not laughing at me or anything mean!) its just that I am very loud and too outspoken sometimes that it amazes them that at work under certain pressures I get this 'shy/nervous' part that happens. But one of my best friends has it bad too and she is also as loud as me if not worse and we swap horrible stories and laugh about it. lol. Smile what else can ya do? *shrug*


RE: Coming out of the SA closet :o - Globetrotter - 08-09-2011 07:23 AM

To my family, I'm shy and suffer with my nerves.

To the volunteering centre I visited a few months ago, I remembering pointing out what I'd written on the application form - 'social anxiety disorder', as if it was my dirty little secret. (What didn't help at the time, I guess, was that I was in a small, quiet, open plan office, where everyone could easily hear everybody else).

To the jobcentre, I tell them that I have SAD. Though it's very difficult, they at least know why certain jobs would not be suitable for me.