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Things that helped me. - Printable Version

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Things that helped me. - heathertreat - 09-11-2011 12:50 PM

I have a social fear.. social anxiety, whatever you want to call it. I've tried my entire life to overcome it, and it's extremely hard. I'm still not completely over it (not at all actually) but I wanted to post some things that helped me cope with it a little better on a daily basis.

I got a job as a dental assistant a couple years ago and a big part of my job was having to communicate with other people. I HATE(D) it! So I looked into some self help. The first thing I did was read the book "How to win friends and influence people" by Dale Carnegie. It might sound stupid, but the book gave me some insight on how to deal with other people. One thing that always stuck with me was to always remember and call people by their first names. This, since then, has helped me with making other people more comfortable around me, and also I feel more comfortable around them. It helps when you speak to someone like they are your friend.

Some other little notes I wrote in a journal--and pretty much live my life by. A huge thing for me is that I'm afraid of being so awkward, I will make the other person awkward and it will just create a horribly unenjoyable experience for both of us..they did help me to put myself in a different mindset that would allow me to interact with other people...

-People enjoy opening up, they like explaining how they feel. Don't just listen to a person, listen AT them. Other people are very charmed when they think someone cares about what they have to say.

-"The world is a stage, and we're all acting." Everyone is pretending to some extent. So even if you have to pretend you're comfortable, that's fine. If it makes you feel alright, then the other person will feel comfortable too.

-Accept people for what they are, and they will accept you.

-Shyness comes from within, not from without. Social anxiety isn't something you are..it's something you're thinking. It's the way you have set yourself to be.. it's not the way you were created. "There are no small subjects, only small people." Generally, people are willing to listen to what you have to say. Mostly because other people LOVE to confine and talk about themselves to other people.

-LET GO of bad experiences concerning your phobia. The more you think of it, the more power it will give you! It's so hard, but you have to let it go!

-Other people are basically the same as you. EVERYONE IS AFRAID OF EMBARRASSMENT. OTHER PEOPLE AREN'T AS SMART AS YOU THINK! All people are interested in connecting with others!!** I think this is the most important!****

-& Don't criticize, or look down on people. They are just what you would be under similar circumstances!

I thought I'd post this because these were some of the things that helped me operate better at my job. I still have a social phobia, but after years of practice, I am able to put it on the backburner. As long as I keep the spotlight on the other person I am pretty much in the clear.
I hope this can also help some of you, even if it's only a little.

RE: Things that helped me. - Harold-L - 09-12-2011 02:46 AM

Good post! Lots of wise words there.Blob5

I actually like the idea of writing positive quotes and thoughts into a notebook and carry it around with you like that. I might steal a few of yours. I certainly need to work on my negative thoughts, especially when it comes to other people. I tend to deal with my own problems by basically hating people around me. If I feel like a social failure, I hate everyone social. If I feel ugly, I hate everyone "attractive". etc etc. Not a good outlook on life. So I should probably keep a few of your notes in mind when I feel that way. 005_stongue