oFear - Anxiety and Phobia Forum
So tired of being Like this - Printable Version

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So tired of being Like this - Reli - 05-04-2013 07:00 AM

I dont know if any one else will ever read this, and I really dont care if you do.. I just need to be able to get this out..

I hate my brain. I hate this phobia..
I hate myself for me even having this phobia.

I just discovered the name of it..But I dont know how to spell it.. The fear of clusters/holes

God, even typing it makes me sick to my stomach.. I cant live like this anymore. I had to leave my job today because I had a panic attack brought on my this dumb phobia. That was at 8am this morning. and Its now almost 3. My hands havnt stopped shaking, and i feel as if I have ran a marathon. I cant catch my breath, and my heart wont stop racing.

I didnt used to have this phobia. I used to never be scared of anything. And now I see the slightest trigger and im down for the count. and its only been like this for the past few months or so. ...I didnt even know that this was a real thing. I thought it was just one of those creepy crawly type things.. and that it would eventualy pass. But i cant seem to get the trigger images and thoughts out of my head. I try to distract myself by watching tv, or playing with my son, but 10 or so minuets of that, and im back to freaking out about something that no one else around me happens to understand. I really want this to end. I have considered counciling, but I am terriffied that they will show me trigger pictures, or something like that, and make it worse. .. I dont know what to do!!! Mad0228 I feel like im safest in my bed. I am stuck between a rock and a gross place......


if any one that reads this knows of a way to help me, or what I should do as for treatment, PLEASE let me know. Or I think things may take a turn for the worse.


RE: So tired of being Like this - Mr Ian - 05-07-2013 08:15 PM

Hi Reli and welcome to OFear Smile

There's a number of options available, some of which - as this is an international forum - will depend on the healthcare arrangements where you live and in your own personal circumstances.

If it's got to the point where it is effecting your life as much as this - ie giving up work, most the day in panic - then I'd suggest you are significantly disabled by this and should seek out support from professional help.

I understand the fear of being exposed to things that make you trigger/worse is frightening but a good therapist will also understand and recognise that. Usually they try to understand the issues just by talking about them first and then decide with you on ways to try to overcome them. Remember, at all times, you are in control of the therapy and only need to attempt things you feel comfortable with.

My suggestion to you would be to pick put your therapy options and speak to more than one - find out what they can offer and how they would intend to work with you. Anxiety about therapy is mostly about not knowing what's likely to happen so getting yourself the information might reduce your fears of therapy enough for you to try it out.

Let me know if this helps and feel free to ask anything

Ian