http://www.ofear.com/ Mon, 20 May 2013 16:32:34 +0000 MyBB http://www.ofear.com/t-przyszla-pora-na-wymiane-tuszy Fri, 17 May 2013 01:32:58 -0500 http://www.ofear.com/t-przyszla-pora-na-wymiane-tuszy Posiadam drukarkę HP Deskjet F2180 i przyszła pora na wymianę tuszy nareszcie. Wcześniej miałem tusze HP 21 i 22. Czy obecnie również muszę kupować tusze hp z takim oznaczeniem liczbowym znalazłem tutaj -tusze hp czy nie ma w tej kwestii różnicy bądź nie ma ona wpływu na działanie drukarki?

Z góry dziękuję za odpowiedź ]]> Posiadam drukarkę HP Deskjet F2180 i przyszła pora na wymianę tuszy nareszcie. Wcześniej miałem tusze HP 21 i 22. Czy obecnie również muszę kupować tusze hp z takim oznaczeniem liczbowym znalazłem tutaj -tusze hp czy nie ma w tej kwestii różnicy bądź nie ma ona wpływu na działanie drukarki?

Z góry dziękuję za odpowiedź ]]> http://www.ofear.com/t-hi-guys-i-am-new Wed, 15 May 2013 09:27:58 -0500 http://www.ofear.com/t-hi-guys-i-am-new

Counting Scale]]>

Counting Scale]]> http://www.ofear.com/t-jays-diary Mon, 13 May 2013 05:06:15 -0500 http://www.ofear.com/t-jays-diary

Has been an I retesting couple of weeks, after years of putting up with initially panic attacks and then annoying anxiety, I am finally making massive headway.

Initially the attacks started as a result of felling trapped in a car, long story, and as a result developing what it now seems to be acrophobia

Would make me avoid and situation where I would feel I could not get easy access to a toilet.

Stay tuned for more annoying process from iPhone]]>

Has been an I retesting couple of weeks, after years of putting up with initially panic attacks and then annoying anxiety, I am finally making massive headway.

Initially the attacks started as a result of felling trapped in a car, long story, and as a result developing what it now seems to be acrophobia

Would make me avoid and situation where I would feel I could not get easy access to a toilet.

Stay tuned for more annoying process from iPhone]]> http://www.ofear.com/t-ommetaphobia-eyes Mon, 13 May 2013 00:13:11 -0500 http://www.ofear.com/t-ommetaphobia-eyes
I have a very bad fear of eyes to the point I cant make eye contact with anyone for less than about a minute, not even my own, which sucks because i have big eyes. I cant handle hearing seeing or thinking about things like contact lenses, injury, or anything at all with eyes.
My phobia started in 5th grade, to put it shortly since i can not tell the full story without being scared, lets just say i fell into a coat hanger.
no serious injury i actually just...got up and walked away. but it left me traumatized. My teacher would also tell stories on how her sister harmed her own eyes and flipping eye lids was the trend so it never helped and just made it grow.
in HS kids would also open their eyes like O_O and lean into me.
At work everyone was describing gore to me and the superman movie we have on at work has an image of some gore and I cant bear looking at it everyday.

Its becoming such a huge problem. I cant go out without sunglasses or sometimes fake glasses.

I also keep having bad day dreams
any one else with this fear and can help :c? im very tired of it. ( itd be nice to look my boyfriend in the eyes )]]>
I have a very bad fear of eyes to the point I cant make eye contact with anyone for less than about a minute, not even my own, which sucks because i have big eyes. I cant handle hearing seeing or thinking about things like contact lenses, injury, or anything at all with eyes.
My phobia started in 5th grade, to put it shortly since i can not tell the full story without being scared, lets just say i fell into a coat hanger.
no serious injury i actually just...got up and walked away. but it left me traumatized. My teacher would also tell stories on how her sister harmed her own eyes and flipping eye lids was the trend so it never helped and just made it grow.
in HS kids would also open their eyes like O_O and lean into me.
At work everyone was describing gore to me and the superman movie we have on at work has an image of some gore and I cant bear looking at it everyday.

Its becoming such a huge problem. I cant go out without sunglasses or sometimes fake glasses.

I also keep having bad day dreams
any one else with this fear and can help :c? im very tired of it. ( itd be nice to look my boyfriend in the eyes )]]> http://www.ofear.com/t-hi-all-what-s-my-phobia Wed, 08 May 2013 03:41:46 -0500 http://www.ofear.com/t-hi-all-what-s-my-phobia
My name is Jay I am 38, and suffering attacks and living with phobia since 1998 now.

Long story short, never told this story before... I think look back it was a combination of stress, a lack of sleep and too much coffee that did it...

I suffered a panic attack when my new boss kindly took some new employees in his car for a drive around the new city we had all been relocated to. During this trip I wanted to go to the bathroom, but didn't have the confidence to ask him to stop. This turned from anxiety to panic over the hours before we stopped... Things weren't quite the same after that it was terrifying everyone I travelled on a plane, train or in car with anyone else I was terrified of the lack of control in case I needed to go to the bathroom.

Over a decade later I am a heap better, not the full blown panic attacks, sweating, impending sense of death etc...I don't have the panic attacks anymore, but I do have a lot of anxiety and it is debilitatin g for work given my current fears.

I have to go to bathroom before every meeting, freak out about sitting in window or middle seats in planes or theatres, or boardrooms etc. all of which I do daily, so given I am coping and have daily exposure... What can I do break this cycle of anxiety?

What is this phobia called?

Great karma going to anyone who can help ]]>
My name is Jay I am 38, and suffering attacks and living with phobia since 1998 now.

Long story short, never told this story before... I think look back it was a combination of stress, a lack of sleep and too much coffee that did it...

I suffered a panic attack when my new boss kindly took some new employees in his car for a drive around the new city we had all been relocated to. During this trip I wanted to go to the bathroom, but didn't have the confidence to ask him to stop. This turned from anxiety to panic over the hours before we stopped... Things weren't quite the same after that it was terrifying everyone I travelled on a plane, train or in car with anyone else I was terrified of the lack of control in case I needed to go to the bathroom.

Over a decade later I am a heap better, not the full blown panic attacks, sweating, impending sense of death etc...I don't have the panic attacks anymore, but I do have a lot of anxiety and it is debilitatin g for work given my current fears.

I have to go to bathroom before every meeting, freak out about sitting in window or middle seats in planes or theatres, or boardrooms etc. all of which I do daily, so given I am coping and have daily exposure... What can I do break this cycle of anxiety?

What is this phobia called?

Great karma going to anyone who can help ]]> http://www.ofear.com/t-so-tired-of-being-like-this Fri, 03 May 2013 16:00:57 -0500 http://www.ofear.com/t-so-tired-of-being-like-this
I hate my brain. I hate this phobia..
I hate myself for me even having this phobia.

I just discovered the name of it..But I dont know how to spell it.. The fear of clusters/holes

God, even typing it makes me sick to my stomach.. I cant live like this anymore. I had to leave my job today because I had a panic attack brought on my this dumb phobia. That was at 8am this morning. and Its now almost 3. My hands havnt stopped shaking, and i feel as if I have ran a marathon. I cant catch my breath, and my heart wont stop racing.

I didnt used to have this phobia. I used to never be scared of anything. And now I see the slightest trigger and im down for the count. and its only been like this for the past few months or so. ...I didnt even know that this was a real thing. I thought it was just one of those creepy crawly type things.. and that it would eventualy pass. But i cant seem to get the trigger images and thoughts out of my head. I try to distract myself by watching tv, or playing with my son, but 10 or so minuets of that, and im back to freaking out about something that no one else around me happens to understand. I really want this to end. I have considered counciling, but I am terriffied that they will show me trigger pictures, or something like that, and make it worse. .. I dont know what to do!!! I feel like im safest in my bed. I am stuck between a rock and a gross place......


if any one that reads this knows of a way to help me, or what I should do as for treatment, PLEASE let me know. Or I think things may take a turn for the worse.]]>
I hate my brain. I hate this phobia..
I hate myself for me even having this phobia.

I just discovered the name of it..But I dont know how to spell it.. The fear of clusters/holes

God, even typing it makes me sick to my stomach.. I cant live like this anymore. I had to leave my job today because I had a panic attack brought on my this dumb phobia. That was at 8am this morning. and Its now almost 3. My hands havnt stopped shaking, and i feel as if I have ran a marathon. I cant catch my breath, and my heart wont stop racing.

I didnt used to have this phobia. I used to never be scared of anything. And now I see the slightest trigger and im down for the count. and its only been like this for the past few months or so. ...I didnt even know that this was a real thing. I thought it was just one of those creepy crawly type things.. and that it would eventualy pass. But i cant seem to get the trigger images and thoughts out of my head. I try to distract myself by watching tv, or playing with my son, but 10 or so minuets of that, and im back to freaking out about something that no one else around me happens to understand. I really want this to end. I have considered counciling, but I am terriffied that they will show me trigger pictures, or something like that, and make it worse. .. I dont know what to do!!! I feel like im safest in my bed. I am stuck between a rock and a gross place......


if any one that reads this knows of a way to help me, or what I should do as for treatment, PLEASE let me know. Or I think things may take a turn for the worse.]]> http://www.ofear.com/t-hiv-scare-and-ocd Tue, 30 Apr 2013 02:41:02 -0500 http://www.ofear.com/t-hiv-scare-and-ocd http://www.ofear.com/t-everyone-thinks-i-m-gay Mon, 29 Apr 2013 16:46:48 -0500 http://www.ofear.com/t-everyone-thinks-i-m-gay
Perhaps the most gut-wrenching of these things is the fear I might be gay, and that other people think I'm gay. Why is this such a sore spot for people? It's not homophobia. It's the fact that when someone (even yourself) calls your sexuality into question, your word, and your integrity, are devalued.


Throughout school I've always been the 'posh' one. Never liked sports, got on better with girls (though I do have a solid group of guy friends, but we're not the most masculine bunch in the world). I'm an actor, and I'm good at it, it's what I want to do with the rest of my life. I write, I appreciate poetry, I'd be willing to admit that I can sometimes be a little too pretentious for my own good. Maybe I'm even camp, I don't know. The fact is that in High School, I was by no means 'secure', but I was comfortable with who I was; I knew I was never gonna be popular, and had no desire to be. I had, and still have, my tight-knit group of mates that are always there for me. I guess I figured that the obsession that people have with your sexuality in high school would wither away by the time you got out into the world with adults and mature people.

It didn't. From my experience, the majority of people I've met at Uni and in workplaces thought I was gay the first time I met them, and a large amount still think I'm kidding myself.

This is hard enough. When you have OCD, are insecure around girls as it is, have no self-esteem and are constantly spiking all the time, well.. I'm sure you can understand how frustrating that is for me.

I can't meet a girl without fearing she thinks I'm gay. I know she probably does, so I get anxious. I ruminate. I question my sexuality. I wonder if I actually am gay. I question myself. I feel uncomfortable un my own skin. And the cycle goes on.

I don't want to change myself. I'm proud of who I am, and I think I'm a good person. All I want is to know how to cope with these feelings of doubt, how to avoid situations like that, how to act more masculine perhaps? And just how to avoid feeling like such a failure all the time, and constantly doubting myself.]]>
Perhaps the most gut-wrenching of these things is the fear I might be gay, and that other people think I'm gay. Why is this such a sore spot for people? It's not homophobia. It's the fact that when someone (even yourself) calls your sexuality into question, your word, and your integrity, are devalued.


Throughout school I've always been the 'posh' one. Never liked sports, got on better with girls (though I do have a solid group of guy friends, but we're not the most masculine bunch in the world). I'm an actor, and I'm good at it, it's what I want to do with the rest of my life. I write, I appreciate poetry, I'd be willing to admit that I can sometimes be a little too pretentious for my own good. Maybe I'm even camp, I don't know. The fact is that in High School, I was by no means 'secure', but I was comfortable with who I was; I knew I was never gonna be popular, and had no desire to be. I had, and still have, my tight-knit group of mates that are always there for me. I guess I figured that the obsession that people have with your sexuality in high school would wither away by the time you got out into the world with adults and mature people.

It didn't. From my experience, the majority of people I've met at Uni and in workplaces thought I was gay the first time I met them, and a large amount still think I'm kidding myself.

This is hard enough. When you have OCD, are insecure around girls as it is, have no self-esteem and are constantly spiking all the time, well.. I'm sure you can understand how frustrating that is for me.

I can't meet a girl without fearing she thinks I'm gay. I know she probably does, so I get anxious. I ruminate. I question my sexuality. I wonder if I actually am gay. I question myself. I feel uncomfortable un my own skin. And the cycle goes on.

I don't want to change myself. I'm proud of who I am, and I think I'm a good person. All I want is to know how to cope with these feelings of doubt, how to avoid situations like that, how to act more masculine perhaps? And just how to avoid feeling like such a failure all the time, and constantly doubting myself.]]> http://www.ofear.com/t-fear-of-dogs-cynophobia Mon, 22 Apr 2013 05:22:55 -0500 http://www.ofear.com/t-fear-of-dogs-cynophobia I am new here and I came here, because I am seriously afraid of dogs.
It has gotten worse with years. A few years I had a chance to avoid dogs very easily and it wasn't all that bad, but now that I am living in a new place the phobia has gotten worse.
There's no way to me to avoid dogs. I often skip school, because of my phobia. It really disturbs my every day life and I feel how I am dying inside.
Dogs seem to be everywhere I go.
This video clip : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JDvDCqLCdEE seems to show perfectly how I feel, but I am afraid of every dog I see.

When I see a dog my body starts trembling, my heart starts beating fast, I can't breathe well. I avoid going home and stay somewhere else due my phobia and I don't have anyone to talk to about it, because people are very judgmental and pick on you and laugh when you say you suffer from a fear of dogs.

Some days ago I was at my friends birthday party and there was a dog. He told me that he's the friendliest dog I'll ever see, but he kind of hated me. When he saw me he started growling and always wanted to run at me and people had to hold him back. So the dog owner told me to caress the dog while they were holding it back and his mouth shut. It didn't help either. I gave food to the dog and it didn't help either. Nothing seemed to help.

Yes, I have been attacked by dogs several times. The last time I was attacked there was also an owner. I even didn't walk at them, yet didn't seem them before. This dog started running at me and was barking and growling (it was in the dark and I was far away) and it bit my bag and the owner was far away and screaming: "He's just protecting".

My granny has a little dog and I am not afraid of it at all and also the suggestion "take a dog" wouldn't be good, because I am afraid of dogs and if I took walks with it then it'd be a sure thing that there would be other dogs attacking for sure and so on.

I need help and hopefully I'll find help from here.
Thank you]]> I am new here and I came here, because I am seriously afraid of dogs.
It has gotten worse with years. A few years I had a chance to avoid dogs very easily and it wasn't all that bad, but now that I am living in a new place the phobia has gotten worse.
There's no way to me to avoid dogs. I often skip school, because of my phobia. It really disturbs my every day life and I feel how I am dying inside.
Dogs seem to be everywhere I go.
This video clip : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JDvDCqLCdEE seems to show perfectly how I feel, but I am afraid of every dog I see.

When I see a dog my body starts trembling, my heart starts beating fast, I can't breathe well. I avoid going home and stay somewhere else due my phobia and I don't have anyone to talk to about it, because people are very judgmental and pick on you and laugh when you say you suffer from a fear of dogs.

Some days ago I was at my friends birthday party and there was a dog. He told me that he's the friendliest dog I'll ever see, but he kind of hated me. When he saw me he started growling and always wanted to run at me and people had to hold him back. So the dog owner told me to caress the dog while they were holding it back and his mouth shut. It didn't help either. I gave food to the dog and it didn't help either. Nothing seemed to help.

Yes, I have been attacked by dogs several times. The last time I was attacked there was also an owner. I even didn't walk at them, yet didn't seem them before. This dog started running at me and was barking and growling (it was in the dark and I was far away) and it bit my bag and the owner was far away and screaming: "He's just protecting".

My granny has a little dog and I am not afraid of it at all and also the suggestion "take a dog" wouldn't be good, because I am afraid of dogs and if I took walks with it then it'd be a sure thing that there would be other dogs attacking for sure and so on.

I need help and hopefully I'll find help from here.
Thank you]]> http://www.ofear.com/t-scared-and-depressed-with-news-that-i-have-rare-deadly-family-cancer-gene Mon, 22 Apr 2013 04:49:27 -0500 http://www.ofear.com/t-scared-and-depressed-with-news-that-i-have-rare-deadly-family-cancer-gene developing deadly pancreatic cancer? Genes were identified for
hereditary pancreatitis which increases risk tremendously from
developing the deadly disease. My mother passed away at 49 and
grandfather around the same age.

I've been a hypochondriac my whole life, dealing with heath anxiety
issues. Visiting the various doctor over 30 times in 4 years. I
thought I had brain/neck/lung/testicular/liver/oral/skin cancer. All
came back negative. Now the new findings literally left me on the
floor crying for hours.

I am only 30 years old with a 4 month old boy who I adore. I can stand
the thought of leaving him behind and not being able to see him grow
up. I already suffer from extreme health anxiety which with new
findings that are now leaving me in a deep depression. I find even
hard to look at him without crying.

My life is slow and boring. The thought of laying in my death bed
regretting all the things I could have been or should have done to be
happy. I never live in the moment. My life consist of sitting around
working on websites all day.

Please someone help me with tips, words of wisdom or anything! To top
it off, I have the worst insurance for mental health, which is Kaiser.
Only group therapy is offered and you're able to see counselor once
every 6 weeks

Every article I read -- and I read many of them, all point to the
increased risk. It's on my mind all day and night. I cannot eat due to
my nerves. Even when I'm having a good time, it's still in back of my
head.

You would think knowing this info would help diagnosing something
early, but it's unlikely. My dream come true would to live to be 90
like my other grandparents.]]> developing deadly pancreatic cancer? Genes were identified for
hereditary pancreatitis which increases risk tremendously from
developing the deadly disease. My mother passed away at 49 and
grandfather around the same age.

I've been a hypochondriac my whole life, dealing with heath anxiety
issues. Visiting the various doctor over 30 times in 4 years. I
thought I had brain/neck/lung/testicular/liver/oral/skin cancer. All
came back negative. Now the new findings literally left me on the
floor crying for hours.

I am only 30 years old with a 4 month old boy who I adore. I can stand
the thought of leaving him behind and not being able to see him grow
up. I already suffer from extreme health anxiety which with new
findings that are now leaving me in a deep depression. I find even
hard to look at him without crying.

My life is slow and boring. The thought of laying in my death bed
regretting all the things I could have been or should have done to be
happy. I never live in the moment. My life consist of sitting around
working on websites all day.

Please someone help me with tips, words of wisdom or anything! To top
it off, I have the worst insurance for mental health, which is Kaiser.
Only group therapy is offered and you're able to see counselor once
every 6 weeks

Every article I read -- and I read many of them, all point to the
increased risk. It's on my mind all day and night. I cannot eat due to
my nerves. Even when I'm having a good time, it's still in back of my
head.

You would think knowing this info would help diagnosing something
early, but it's unlikely. My dream come true would to live to be 90
like my other grandparents.]]> http://www.ofear.com/t-monophobia-treatment-help Wed, 17 Apr 2013 10:27:23 -0500 http://www.ofear.com/t-monophobia-treatment-help At the time I shared a bed with my brother. I woke him and cried, “look” as I buried my head into my pillow. When I looked back it had gone.
From that moment onward I have suffered from debilitating monophobia. I refused to sleep alone until I was 15. I now understand what I experienced was some sort of strange psychobiochemical hallucination but I still struggle to sleep often and the same hellish dread I felt then greets me every morning when I wake. (I always anticipate that thing reappearing even after years of uneventful sleep) What disturbs me the most is the lack of medical understanding of the neurological disorder that resulted in the appearance of the hallucination.
Thank you all for your time and assistance. If you believe what I saw to be an actual extraterrestrial please refrain from posting a response. The collective likelihood of intelligent life developing a similar evolutionary model to humanity and then traveling at least interstellarly with the intention of f****** up a child’s mental stability is very low. Not to mention the claws. Try flying a spaceship with those things. Again thank you.
]]> At the time I shared a bed with my brother. I woke him and cried, “look” as I buried my head into my pillow. When I looked back it had gone.
From that moment onward I have suffered from debilitating monophobia. I refused to sleep alone until I was 15. I now understand what I experienced was some sort of strange psychobiochemical hallucination but I still struggle to sleep often and the same hellish dread I felt then greets me every morning when I wake. (I always anticipate that thing reappearing even after years of uneventful sleep) What disturbs me the most is the lack of medical understanding of the neurological disorder that resulted in the appearance of the hallucination.
Thank you all for your time and assistance. If you believe what I saw to be an actual extraterrestrial please refrain from posting a response. The collective likelihood of intelligent life developing a similar evolutionary model to humanity and then traveling at least interstellarly with the intention of f****** up a child’s mental stability is very low. Not to mention the claws. Try flying a spaceship with those things. Again thank you.
]]> http://www.ofear.com/t-phobia-of-fleas-and-other-insects Wed, 10 Apr 2013 18:42:00 -0500 http://www.ofear.com/t-phobia-of-fleas-and-other-insects http://www.ofear.com/t-my-extreme-phobia Wed, 10 Apr 2013 11:36:56 -0500 http://www.ofear.com/t-my-extreme-phobia
My needle phobia started when I was 7 years old. No-one really knows what triggered it. I remember when I was 7 years old I was at school they were doing measles booster vaccines and my mind just stopped, everything seemed to be moving in slow motion, I was sitting on my dads lap and I was staring out across the gym watching people walk in while the nurse did the injection. I remember everything being hazy and the noises sounded distant. I went back to my class room and carried on with my day and things went back to normal. But I know now that it was at that time that something just flipped in my brain.

fast foward 2 years, my brother had to have stiches when he cut his face open, I had my first panic attack, I felt this overwhelming fear just *knowing* that there was a needle involved. I didnt go, I was at home and yet I was panicking, I hyperventilated and passed out.

That same year I had to have an operation on my foot at my doctors office, they tried to do a local anethstic and I again completely panicked, I ran out the room and collapsed in the waiting room. When I came around I was hooked up to some machines monitoring my heart because It was beating irregulary.

By this point I hadnt had any updated vaccines, I was refusing most medical treatment, and was avoiding my doctors office. They made an appointment for me to go to the hospital to have the operation and as per the notes from my Dr were told not to use a local but to put me to sleep for the procedure. however the hospital said that I was just "overreacting" and tried to use a general anethestic needle to put me to sleep. They tried to hold me down, but even with 3 nurses and an anethetist I managed to get up and I jumped out the 5th floor window. I fractured both my ankles, 1 of my wrists and a bunch of my ribs. I then tried to drag myself across the road to get away from the hospital and almost got hit by a bus. I dont remember much after then, I was told my heart stopped for a while, I remember seeing a lot of machines again. I was heavily sedated and I dont remember much after that.

Over the next few years I avoided everything to do with hospitals and drs and dentists, anything where I knew needles could be. Nobody talked about what had happened, no-one offered any kind of help or counsolling and I was over and over that I would "grow out of it" or to "just look away", it was as if they didnt know how to deal with my condition.

When I was 14 I went through another exeriance of something unrelated to needles/hospitals but it changed my life. I tried to commit suicide, I got involved with drugs, I drank my self unconsious, I skipped large parts of my school year, I was having psychotic episodes and was suffering from depression and anxiety. After a 3rd suicide attempt the specialists decided I needed help...I was given anti-psychotics and anti-depressants and was given CBT sessions to attend to in a mental institute. It was then that my medical records were finally altered to include a permenant note that under no circumstance was a needle to be used on me and that I must be gassed to sleep for any procedure.

This however means little to medical professionals... when I was 21 I had to have an operation to remove a lump on my ovaries, I was given a large dose of sedatives prior to arriving at the hospital to allow me to be able to be there. I was taken the operating room immediatly but was already hyperventilating. Then the surgeon did something he shouldnt of....he tried to put a needle in my hand for a general anethestic when my head was turned for a split second. I half leapt, half fell off the hospital bed right before it touched my skin, he dropped the needle on the floor and they then had to pin me to the hospital bed to get the gas mask on because i was hysterical.

The only good thing that came out of that was that the biopsy resulted showed the lump to not be cancerous.

The next year I immigrated to the USA to be with my husband. as part of the requirement I had to have a blood test for this I was gassed...maybe the Dr's finally figured it out...just as I was leaving the country. However when I arrived in America as part of the requirement I had to be vaccinated for a few things...they refused to gas me and once again i was hearing "just look the other way"...It was like starting all over again from scratch even though they had all my medical history from the UK. Eventually they gave me a large dose of sedatives, but as expected these didnt have the disred affect they wanted. My husband had to pin me down for them to give the vaccinations, I passed out in his arms. This was probably the hardest time for me actually, I HAD to have the vaccines or be deported. But due to my anxiety issues, like I child I was completely dependant on my husband to protect me from everything, and in that time and moment...he couldnt through no fault of his own. But still to this day Im struggling to get past that.

Sicne then Ive not had any injections, Ive hd to succesful pregnancies and births, with very little medical intervention, my OBGYN has by far been the best and only medical professional I can trust, it took a little while for her to understand my fear but when she saw my reaction to a needle seconds after I gave birth to a baby and was stood up on the edge of the hospital bed she realized that it was as serious as it gets.

Thats pretty much up to where I am now, Ive left bits and pieces out but thats the "major" events I think that explains my situation, the problems Ive faced, and the failures by the medical professionals to take needle phobia as a serious illness.

if you made it this far, congrats!

Thank you for reading this, its the first time Ive ever written it all out like this. Its really quite draining.]]>
My needle phobia started when I was 7 years old. No-one really knows what triggered it. I remember when I was 7 years old I was at school they were doing measles booster vaccines and my mind just stopped, everything seemed to be moving in slow motion, I was sitting on my dads lap and I was staring out across the gym watching people walk in while the nurse did the injection. I remember everything being hazy and the noises sounded distant. I went back to my class room and carried on with my day and things went back to normal. But I know now that it was at that time that something just flipped in my brain.

fast foward 2 years, my brother had to have stiches when he cut his face open, I had my first panic attack, I felt this overwhelming fear just *knowing* that there was a needle involved. I didnt go, I was at home and yet I was panicking, I hyperventilated and passed out.

That same year I had to have an operation on my foot at my doctors office, they tried to do a local anethstic and I again completely panicked, I ran out the room and collapsed in the waiting room. When I came around I was hooked up to some machines monitoring my heart because It was beating irregulary.

By this point I hadnt had any updated vaccines, I was refusing most medical treatment, and was avoiding my doctors office. They made an appointment for me to go to the hospital to have the operation and as per the notes from my Dr were told not to use a local but to put me to sleep for the procedure. however the hospital said that I was just "overreacting" and tried to use a general anethestic needle to put me to sleep. They tried to hold me down, but even with 3 nurses and an anethetist I managed to get up and I jumped out the 5th floor window. I fractured both my ankles, 1 of my wrists and a bunch of my ribs. I then tried to drag myself across the road to get away from the hospital and almost got hit by a bus. I dont remember much after then, I was told my heart stopped for a while, I remember seeing a lot of machines again. I was heavily sedated and I dont remember much after that.

Over the next few years I avoided everything to do with hospitals and drs and dentists, anything where I knew needles could be. Nobody talked about what had happened, no-one offered any kind of help or counsolling and I was over and over that I would "grow out of it" or to "just look away", it was as if they didnt know how to deal with my condition.

When I was 14 I went through another exeriance of something unrelated to needles/hospitals but it changed my life. I tried to commit suicide, I got involved with drugs, I drank my self unconsious, I skipped large parts of my school year, I was having psychotic episodes and was suffering from depression and anxiety. After a 3rd suicide attempt the specialists decided I needed help...I was given anti-psychotics and anti-depressants and was given CBT sessions to attend to in a mental institute. It was then that my medical records were finally altered to include a permenant note that under no circumstance was a needle to be used on me and that I must be gassed to sleep for any procedure.

This however means little to medical professionals... when I was 21 I had to have an operation to remove a lump on my ovaries, I was given a large dose of sedatives prior to arriving at the hospital to allow me to be able to be there. I was taken the operating room immediatly but was already hyperventilating. Then the surgeon did something he shouldnt of....he tried to put a needle in my hand for a general anethestic when my head was turned for a split second. I half leapt, half fell off the hospital bed right before it touched my skin, he dropped the needle on the floor and they then had to pin me to the hospital bed to get the gas mask on because i was hysterical.

The only good thing that came out of that was that the biopsy resulted showed the lump to not be cancerous.

The next year I immigrated to the USA to be with my husband. as part of the requirement I had to have a blood test for this I was gassed...maybe the Dr's finally figured it out...just as I was leaving the country. However when I arrived in America as part of the requirement I had to be vaccinated for a few things...they refused to gas me and once again i was hearing "just look the other way"...It was like starting all over again from scratch even though they had all my medical history from the UK. Eventually they gave me a large dose of sedatives, but as expected these didnt have the disred affect they wanted. My husband had to pin me down for them to give the vaccinations, I passed out in his arms. This was probably the hardest time for me actually, I HAD to have the vaccines or be deported. But due to my anxiety issues, like I child I was completely dependant on my husband to protect me from everything, and in that time and moment...he couldnt through no fault of his own. But still to this day Im struggling to get past that.

Sicne then Ive not had any injections, Ive hd to succesful pregnancies and births, with very little medical intervention, my OBGYN has by far been the best and only medical professional I can trust, it took a little while for her to understand my fear but when she saw my reaction to a needle seconds after I gave birth to a baby and was stood up on the edge of the hospital bed she realized that it was as serious as it gets.

Thats pretty much up to where I am now, Ive left bits and pieces out but thats the "major" events I think that explains my situation, the problems Ive faced, and the failures by the medical professionals to take needle phobia as a serious illness.

if you made it this far, congrats!

Thank you for reading this, its the first time Ive ever written it all out like this. Its really quite draining.]]> http://www.ofear.com/t-studying-anxiety-and-depression Sat, 06 Apr 2013 14:36:54 -0500 http://www.ofear.com/t-studying-anxiety-and-depression I was looking for like minded people who may have already undertook a home study course in depression such as this one. I want to enrol but I am just seeing if anyone has done a similar course to this one through home study. http://www.opencollege.info/depression.html
My main reason is to learn more about depression as I suffer this and anxiety. Your thoughts are appreciated
Thanks]]> I was looking for like minded people who may have already undertook a home study course in depression such as this one. I want to enrol but I am just seeing if anyone has done a similar course to this one through home study. http://www.opencollege.info/depression.html
My main reason is to learn more about depression as I suffer this and anxiety. Your thoughts are appreciated
Thanks]]> http://www.ofear.com/t-my-fear-of-man-made-items-under-water Tue, 02 Apr 2013 22:45:37 -0500 http://www.ofear.com/t-my-fear-of-man-made-items-under-water Hi there i need advice!

I have a terrible phobia of any man made items being in the water if i can see them. A really good example of this is when i went sailing for my first time in a very clear lake and i happend to sail over a large concrete block submerged just two and a half meters from the surface, immediatly i cannot help but have a panic attack and hyperventalte simply because i knew if i reached into the water i could touch it.it sounds stupid but even the mines from finding nemo that are under the water absolutly stick in my brain. there is nothing thats scares me more than oil rigs.... i cant help but imagine being sucked into them and ground up, id rather be burnt alive then be Even close to on one of them!.. this has become a huuuuuge issue for me now as i cant stand the thought of swimming in public pools because of the wave generators ,filters ect....or the beach as i may come into contact with an old bicycle or something submerged. strangely enough its only large bodies of water that effect me when i have these panic attacks.and ONLY MAN MADE objects scare me.you could put me in a pool of piranhas but ill be mostly scared of the pool filter!

i couldn't tell you when this phobia has started because my mum said i've had it since i an infant...... its pretty embarrassing when i cant even swim where all others can without freaking the heck out and freezing completly...

So if anybody can relate or know how they may have dealt with this before im open to opinion! i need advice asap!

---

Anybody? ]]> Hi there i need advice!

I have a terrible phobia of any man made items being in the water if i can see them. A really good example of this is when i went sailing for my first time in a very clear lake and i happend to sail over a large concrete block submerged just two and a half meters from the surface, immediatly i cannot help but have a panic attack and hyperventalte simply because i knew if i reached into the water i could touch it.it sounds stupid but even the mines from finding nemo that are under the water absolutly stick in my brain. there is nothing thats scares me more than oil rigs.... i cant help but imagine being sucked into them and ground up, id rather be burnt alive then be Even close to on one of them!.. this has become a huuuuuge issue for me now as i cant stand the thought of swimming in public pools because of the wave generators ,filters ect....or the beach as i may come into contact with an old bicycle or something submerged. strangely enough its only large bodies of water that effect me when i have these panic attacks.and ONLY MAN MADE objects scare me.you could put me in a pool of piranhas but ill be mostly scared of the pool filter!

i couldn't tell you when this phobia has started because my mum said i've had it since i an infant...... its pretty embarrassing when i cant even swim where all others can without freaking the heck out and freezing completly...

So if anybody can relate or know how they may have dealt with this before im open to opinion! i need advice asap!

---

Anybody? ]]> http://www.ofear.com/t-fear-of-not-existing-in-the-present-day-as-in-right-here-right-now-not-when-i-die Sun, 31 Mar 2013 21:41:30 -0500 http://www.ofear.com/t-fear-of-not-existing-in-the-present-day-as-in-right-here-right-now-not-when-i-die This one, though, is progressing a little more every time it comes around, and I kind of want to start addressing it now before it gets really bad.

I alternate between being a very quiet and shy person to being a very talkative and sociable person, depending on who I'm around (not necessarily who I'm friends with, just who I feel comfortable talking with at the time). This inconsistency makes me kind of unpredictable, to others and myself, in regards to whether I'm shy or not. So this might have been brought about by that.

Sometimes, when I'm with a group of people (3 or more, including myself), everyone is kind of sporadically taking turns talking at random. And, with this type of group, I usually contribute to the conversation so I do just as much talking as everyone else. But sometimes - and these incidents can range from days to months in between each other - I will say something at a perfectly audible volume, out loud, and it's something that warrants some sort of response (not just a laugh or a comment). And everyone else in the group appears to not have heard anything. Then, after a couple of seconds, conversation starts up again as if I hadn't even spoken at all.

This scares me so much. Because if only one other person were with me and they just weren't listening, that's one thing. But if multiple people in the group didn't even recognize that I said anything, at a time when no one or nothing else was there to be talking over me, that's....terrifying. It actually makes me doubt that I exist. And when I start thinking that, it makes me feel like I'm just part of this game, and I'm the only real person in it, and everything around me is controlled by someone whose objective is to make me feel like I'm in a reality when there is no reality and at any time the person could stop playing and I could disappear, but the person playing the game is so determined to make me believe that I do exist that they play the game until I die so they can feel accomplished. But it's so tiring that sometimes they forget to keep my surroundings in check and when they slack off for just a second every once in a while that's when scenarios like this happen.

Now I only came up with this full idea the last time it happened, but the fear has slowly developing and getting more complicated and realistic and scary every time it occurs. So I realize this is my mind's own spin on it and no one else probably has it exactly like I do, but has anyone heard of this - a fear of not existing in the present? Thank you..]]> This one, though, is progressing a little more every time it comes around, and I kind of want to start addressing it now before it gets really bad.

I alternate between being a very quiet and shy person to being a very talkative and sociable person, depending on who I'm around (not necessarily who I'm friends with, just who I feel comfortable talking with at the time). This inconsistency makes me kind of unpredictable, to others and myself, in regards to whether I'm shy or not. So this might have been brought about by that.

Sometimes, when I'm with a group of people (3 or more, including myself), everyone is kind of sporadically taking turns talking at random. And, with this type of group, I usually contribute to the conversation so I do just as much talking as everyone else. But sometimes - and these incidents can range from days to months in between each other - I will say something at a perfectly audible volume, out loud, and it's something that warrants some sort of response (not just a laugh or a comment). And everyone else in the group appears to not have heard anything. Then, after a couple of seconds, conversation starts up again as if I hadn't even spoken at all.

This scares me so much. Because if only one other person were with me and they just weren't listening, that's one thing. But if multiple people in the group didn't even recognize that I said anything, at a time when no one or nothing else was there to be talking over me, that's....terrifying. It actually makes me doubt that I exist. And when I start thinking that, it makes me feel like I'm just part of this game, and I'm the only real person in it, and everything around me is controlled by someone whose objective is to make me feel like I'm in a reality when there is no reality and at any time the person could stop playing and I could disappear, but the person playing the game is so determined to make me believe that I do exist that they play the game until I die so they can feel accomplished. But it's so tiring that sometimes they forget to keep my surroundings in check and when they slack off for just a second every once in a while that's when scenarios like this happen.

Now I only came up with this full idea the last time it happened, but the fear has slowly developing and getting more complicated and realistic and scary every time it occurs. So I realize this is my mind's own spin on it and no one else probably has it exactly like I do, but has anyone heard of this - a fear of not existing in the present? Thank you..]]> http://www.ofear.com/t-fear-of-people-and-society-in-general Tue, 26 Mar 2013 05:53:49 -0500 http://www.ofear.com/t-fear-of-people-and-society-in-general From the begining, I was pretty much of a quiet child who doesn't talk much to people. As time went by, I went to school, I guess I could call myself an asocial now. It's not that I didn't get any friend, though. I did get my first friend in 3rd grade, then hang around with some other people.
But when I grew more and things happens, I began to get scared of people. I'm afraid people wouldn't like me, or they would try to hurt me, or force me to listen to them, change me, things like that.
I used to try to please people and never, or rarely, said or did what I really feel like. I'd say I try too much to fit in.
I don't want to do that anymore but whenever I meet someone new, that feeling of trying to please them arise. I could not talk my mind out to people and that fact gets me depressed. Whenever I have to meet someone, I'd feel like a challenge, a tiresome challenge. Sometimes, I went through it a little, talking the real thing to someone. I though it will be over, I'm fine with people now but the problem persists.
I do have my familly which I trust and am able to talk it out, but that's it.
Since I'm afraid of most of the people around. It devellops to the fear of society, it's also a fear of beeing forced to be someone I don't want to. I guess I'm pretty sensible.
Let me give an an example: When I meet a person, let's call them A, I feel like A wants me to be like this. And I'd have this urge to make myself look like what I thought A wants me to be (I guess this is my old pattern of thinking showing up.). And I'd get a little irritated at myself for wanting so. And I got scared.
I want things, think things that are quite different from those around me. I feel crushed when I have to interact.
Well, if someone shows me kindness and acceptance of who I am, I'd like it of course.
I try to solve it over and over by chalenging myself to talk to people but it didn't work.
If I really talk about what I think and feels, the dark and serious side, tears will come out and I'll start shaking. And my emotions will go wild.

I'm tired of this problem, it fended me from doing a lot of things. Sometimes, just going out and buy stuffs, or go to a public place alone without people I trust is a problem. I need to get rid of it since I'm deciding to do something that might really inflate this fear up.
Is there a way for me to get rid of this sociophobia? Thanks in advance.]]> From the begining, I was pretty much of a quiet child who doesn't talk much to people. As time went by, I went to school, I guess I could call myself an asocial now. It's not that I didn't get any friend, though. I did get my first friend in 3rd grade, then hang around with some other people.
But when I grew more and things happens, I began to get scared of people. I'm afraid people wouldn't like me, or they would try to hurt me, or force me to listen to them, change me, things like that.
I used to try to please people and never, or rarely, said or did what I really feel like. I'd say I try too much to fit in.
I don't want to do that anymore but whenever I meet someone new, that feeling of trying to please them arise. I could not talk my mind out to people and that fact gets me depressed. Whenever I have to meet someone, I'd feel like a challenge, a tiresome challenge. Sometimes, I went through it a little, talking the real thing to someone. I though it will be over, I'm fine with people now but the problem persists.
I do have my familly which I trust and am able to talk it out, but that's it.
Since I'm afraid of most of the people around. It devellops to the fear of society, it's also a fear of beeing forced to be someone I don't want to. I guess I'm pretty sensible.
Let me give an an example: When I meet a person, let's call them A, I feel like A wants me to be like this. And I'd have this urge to make myself look like what I thought A wants me to be (I guess this is my old pattern of thinking showing up.). And I'd get a little irritated at myself for wanting so. And I got scared.
I want things, think things that are quite different from those around me. I feel crushed when I have to interact.
Well, if someone shows me kindness and acceptance of who I am, I'd like it of course.
I try to solve it over and over by chalenging myself to talk to people but it didn't work.
If I really talk about what I think and feels, the dark and serious side, tears will come out and I'll start shaking. And my emotions will go wild.

I'm tired of this problem, it fended me from doing a lot of things. Sometimes, just going out and buy stuffs, or go to a public place alone without people I trust is a problem. I need to get rid of it since I'm deciding to do something that might really inflate this fear up.
Is there a way for me to get rid of this sociophobia? Thanks in advance.]]> http://www.ofear.com/t-maybe-its-not-depression Mon, 18 Mar 2013 04:19:41 -0500 http://www.ofear.com/t-maybe-its-not-depression I've been treated with like a million drugs for depression. Honestly need to somehow go through my file to see what tried and failed because several times my doctor has tried to put me on something I've had before. His next step is to maybe try bi-polar meds or maybe anti-psychotics. Great. The problem is-I'm not even sure I'm "depressed" at this point. Its like I have a problem waking up. Getting out of bed is hard. Because I just feel so tired. I get up and doing anything-house work/job/anything needing motivation- is very hard for me. Hard to get moving. Its never just temporary and once I wake up I'm ok. I can take a good amount of caffeine sometimes and it helps a little. I get enough sleep. I just wish there was like a conclusive to test to at least say whats wrong with me. I realize I have spent most of my life severely depressed. But now its more like I'm just "lazy". Which is awful.Its SO difficult to function really. I don't know why. I no longer "feel" depressed like I have most of my life, which makes me really question what else is/could be to blame.

Honestly i'm fine with WHATEVER diagnosis at this point-as long as I knew what direction to at least go with trying to treat "it". I haven't tried in sometime because I've tried to get my other medications straightened out. But I see my doctor early next month, I am planning on at least trying SOMETHING that may help because it seems mostly everything else is "under control" at this moment. ]]> I've been treated with like a million drugs for depression. Honestly need to somehow go through my file to see what tried and failed because several times my doctor has tried to put me on something I've had before. His next step is to maybe try bi-polar meds or maybe anti-psychotics. Great. The problem is-I'm not even sure I'm "depressed" at this point. Its like I have a problem waking up. Getting out of bed is hard. Because I just feel so tired. I get up and doing anything-house work/job/anything needing motivation- is very hard for me. Hard to get moving. Its never just temporary and once I wake up I'm ok. I can take a good amount of caffeine sometimes and it helps a little. I get enough sleep. I just wish there was like a conclusive to test to at least say whats wrong with me. I realize I have spent most of my life severely depressed. But now its more like I'm just "lazy". Which is awful.Its SO difficult to function really. I don't know why. I no longer "feel" depressed like I have most of my life, which makes me really question what else is/could be to blame.

Honestly i'm fine with WHATEVER diagnosis at this point-as long as I knew what direction to at least go with trying to treat "it". I haven't tried in sometime because I've tried to get my other medications straightened out. But I see my doctor early next month, I am planning on at least trying SOMETHING that may help because it seems mostly everything else is "under control" at this moment. ]]> http://www.ofear.com/t-fear-for-other-people-been-cold Mon, 11 Mar 2013 08:08:56 -0500 http://www.ofear.com/t-fear-for-other-people-been-cold http://www.ofear.com/t-depression-social-anxiety-and-just-for-today-fragapane-phobia Fri, 22 Feb 2013 08:10:54 -0600 http://www.ofear.com/t-depression-social-anxiety-and-just-for-today-fragapane-phobia
So yeah, hopefully I'll feel comfortable in a while to jump into some discussions. Hopefully you guys can help me in some way through your own experiences, and vice versa.]]>
So yeah, hopefully I'll feel comfortable in a while to jump into some discussions. Hopefully you guys can help me in some way through your own experiences, and vice versa.]]>