Hi everyone!

Apparently the last time I was online was nearly three years ago, and I don't think I've been a regular poster for about five years! Well, I've decided to reconnect because I'm feeling pretty low (as I generally do at this time of year).

I've lived out of home for two years now, and I'm dreading going home for Christmas. It is SO depressing and isolating; even more so than staying at my place without my housemate...

Yesterday my PhD supervisor sensed I was feeling pretty crap and asked me if Christmas is an unhappy time in my family....It's not that they're openly hostile or abusive (!), just devoid of real warmth and overt displays of affection....all year round, and nothing changes at Christmas, when all the 'peace and goodwill' stuff gets rubbed in your face. So depressing.

SO, even though I won't be physically isolated for Christmas, emotionally it's a pretty joyless time. Anyone else feel this way? Anyone actually alone? How do you cope? And what are you doing generally for Christmas? If you don't celebrate Christmas, what do you do instead?

(12-24-2013 02:01 PM)mauerbluemchen Wrote:  SO, even though I won't be physically isolated for Christmas, emotionally it's a pretty joyless time. Anyone else feel this way? Anyone actually alone? How do you cope? And what are you doing generally for Christmas? If you don't celebrate Christmas, what do you do instead?

Hi mauerbluemchen,
I remember those kinds of times at Christmas though ours were about lots of drinking and then, of course, fighting. It seemed like the two went together and it happened for years and years, right from a kid way into adulthood.
We simply HAD to change that to find our own peace, and that is what has happened. Maybe it would be a good idea for you to kindly tell your family that you want to find your own tradition, and if they don't accept that, it is YOUR life after all, to make your own decisions.
Maybe you could meet friends for Christmas, or go to a place where people do meet when they are alone for Christmas. I imagine there are many places like that around, Churches serving food and camaraderie there.
Last scenario, if you don't want to go anywhere, how about setting up something you love to do for yourself? That could just fill you up with such Peace that you've never experienced before with your family that you would not trade the Peace you find for anything.
Good luck to you and I do wish you a Merry Christmas no matter which way you do spend it. I would love to check in at oFear to see what your ultimate decision was/is and that you do/did have a lovely Christmas!