I don't know if this belongs here, but I kinda do have a fear of heights, not a full blown phobia but whenever I am up over the edge of a great height I often feel sick and nervous because I feel like I am going to jump off for some strange reason. Sometimes I visualize myself jumping and then dying rather brutally and messily.

Same with me, it's like I get this "thought" that somehow I'd jump, even though I know for sure I wouldn't..but part of me just has to get away from the edge as if somehow I will jump sconfused ...Like this one time I was at my grandma's, she has like this balcony thingy, and I was just standing on it and got that thought and had to go back inside.. sconfused I also have a fear that I'll somehow faint and fall.. sconfused

same here...I'm not actualy scared of heights. But if im walking along the edge of something...especialy like rivers or roads I have to walk the furthest away from it coz I'm scared im gonna jump or fall. I dont even know why I think I'm gonna jump...its weird but its really scary aswel.

I'm afraid i don't have that feeling, because I know that no matter how curious I am as to whats over the edge I am 100% in complete control of my actions thereafter, if your visualizing things like that it shows that you don't trust yourself.

Stu

I beg to differ Stu - I get mild anxieties when I stand next to sudden or large drops and don't feel comfortable testing or hanging anywhere near a safety fence. I have to consciously check my thoughts as I feel them happen (and they happen similarly to how miT and Meow describe for me also) and usually I simply back off (in CBT terms - I remove the stimulus for the anxiety).
If someone were to compromise my control (eg jokingly grab me from behind or the like) I am liable to knock them out.

In case you're wondering how the great Mr Ian (!) can be anxious.... my mother has extreme fear of heights so I blame her. Other than that - I have no clue.

And I assure you I trust no one more than I trust myself!

ok.. so get this...

Mr Ian goes on holiday ... and ends up on the 16th floor with a gorgeous view - but can't stay out there on the balcony longer than one cigarette to enjoy it cos me legs kept twitching! I was ever so conscious of it too.

grrr....

AH ! This is exactly how I feel. Even on the bridges, I'm afraid I'll freak out and panic, open the car door and start running and jump !!!!!! I'm not alone !

I'll add a link here too for the thread with beanz67 where we talked about possible physical causes of feeling queasy in open spaces - talked about the eyes/brain not being able to perceive things well because of the distance to reference points.. stuff like that...
Click here to read.

Yeppers, that link does make a lot of sense, thank you Mr. Ian. Another question though : WHY would we feel that urge that we're going to jump ? If I could get that outta my head, I'd be ok... it's almost like I have a magnetic force trying to pull me towards the edge. I know that sounds extremely bizarre, but that's the best way I can explain it, I guess. Is it because of anxiety issues, causing the negative thought, or is it because we don't trust ourselves ? I mean, I know I don't want to jump, I want to feel safe. But, that "feeling" can be so strong and terrifying. It's really utterly ridiculous.

Yes! I have the exact same thing, and it is so awful. :cry:

It started in my 20s when I was on a chairlift and looked down, and it felt like my body was going to just slide out of the chair and fall.

But in the last few years it has gotten a lot worse - first when I was walking across bridges, it would be really strong, but biking or driving was fine. Then it was biking, and now I'm having a harder time with driving, and I have to cross bridges almost every day. Being high up in a building with balconies or tall atria is really hard too.

I feel like I'm going to fling myself off - even though it's the very last thing I want to do... like my body is going to take over, even though my mind is saying, "Don't!" What's worse is I picture the whole thing happening, and those images play over and over again in my mind.

Otherwise, I have a very normal life - but this is starting to really get in the way of my work and my social life.

I saw a therapist about it, but he wasn't very helpful. Does anybody have any suggestions for how to get it going in the other direction??

Hi peanut and welcome to oFear

I can't say as I can fully explain this one - which is stupid as I have the same issue on times!

I think there are multiple things at play for me - they may relate to you or others...

A fear of being 'too safe'? - wanting to take risks cos you're bored.

A fear of doing irrational things? - because life is 'too simple'

A fear - or regurgitation - of old memories - previous ideas of suicide

A fear of not being safe - feeling emotionally exposed is difficult to express, so physically exposed is a second best (kinda that you're emotionally exposed by the physical sense of feeling unsafe is the catalyst to trigger the 'fear' feeling)

My only solution has been to rationalise each event as it occurs ~

Quote:I feel like I might fall off the edge or even do something irrational like jump.

Are you going to jump?

No.

Then why think such absurdities?

But I still step away if I feel uncomfortable.
Sometimes I worry others might push me over or I'll slip on an edge. I think I had an event of someone doing that - but not that I feel it was a major thing at the time.

Thanks so much Mr. Ian!

I find the one thing that helps is when I say "You're not going to jump" so your suggestion is bang on... I just run into trouble when that niggling little voice gets in there and says, "Yeah, but what if you're wrong about that?" :shock:

In terms of what's causing it, I think it has something to do with control issues, because I feel like I'm going to lose control, and my body is going to just fling itself over the edge.

So if I were to attach a fear to it, I would say that it's fear that I'm going to lose control and do something irrational.

I'd suggest the internal conflict you describe is a representation of some (external) real life conflict or insecurity - like bad work relations; general insecurity around others/social phobia.

For me - I still get very self-conscious in groups. Like when doing those "Let's go round and introduce ourselves" things. It's not the group or speaking - but more the impression I'll create that bugs me. I'll run something thru my head until it's my turn. The longer I wait - the more things I think of and then I come out with some garbled gibberish and everyone looks at me like I'm talking martian - which I probably am. :?

And sometimes I wish I could jump. :O

Hiya Peanut and a very warm welcome to Ofear

I hope you get all the help and support you need.

John