Hmm. I'm just now registering for this site and before I start I just want to mention that over the last couple years (I'm 16 now) I've developed minor to moderate fears of more than a couple things because of, uhhhhh... stuff. This one, though, is progressing a little more every time it comes around, and I kind of want to start addressing it now before it gets really bad.

I alternate between being a very quiet and shy person to being a very talkative and sociable person, depending on who I'm around (not necessarily who I'm friends with, just who I feel comfortable talking with at the time). This inconsistency makes me kind of unpredictable, to others and myself, in regards to whether I'm shy or not. So this might have been brought about by that.

Sometimes, when I'm with a group of people (3 or more, including myself), everyone is kind of sporadically taking turns talking at random. And, with this type of group, I usually contribute to the conversation so I do just as much talking as everyone else. But sometimes - and these incidents can range from days to months in between each other - I will say something at a perfectly audible volume, out loud, and it's something that warrants some sort of response (not just a laugh or a comment). And everyone else in the group appears to not have heard anything. Then, after a couple of seconds, conversation starts up again as if I hadn't even spoken at all.

This scares me so much. Because if only one other person were with me and they just weren't listening, that's one thing. But if multiple people in the group didn't even recognize that I said anything, at a time when no one or nothing else was there to be talking over me, that's....terrifying. It actually makes me doubt that I exist. And when I start thinking that, it makes me feel like I'm just part of this game, and I'm the only real person in it, and everything around me is controlled by someone whose objective is to make me feel like I'm in a reality when there is no reality and at any time the person could stop playing and I could disappear, but the person playing the game is so determined to make me believe that I do exist that they play the game until I die so they can feel accomplished. But it's so tiring that sometimes they forget to keep my surroundings in check and when they slack off for just a second every once in a while that's when scenarios like this happen.

Now I only came up with this full idea the last time it happened, but the fear has slowly developing and getting more complicated and realistic and scary every time it occurs. So I realize this is my mind's own spin on it and no one else probably has it exactly like I do, but has anyone heard of this - a fear of not existing in the present? Thank you..

Hello Ciderdoughnut,

Thats a new fear to me, but, you usually find that once a person psts about a phobia, within weeks they get a reply from a person who also suffers the same issue.

Do you know when this started or anything that may have trigerred it off?

i do i have the same problem if anyone knows anything about it please share your information

Hi ciderdoughnut and mtodorovic - welcome to oFear

It's not that uncommon. In fact many people have in some time in their lives wondered if it's all just a dream. Mostly it occurs with people who analyse a lot. I know this - I've done it, had it .. and got thru it.

Ever watched The Truman Show? Jim Carrey movie and it more or less depicts what you describe - that everything around you feels 'staged' and surreal sometimes.

The other thing I used to do a lot was get anxious at realising just what a very very very small and insignificant part of the universe I am!

Of course, that's all relative - we're all the same and in our own circles we mean a huge amount to many people - so I survived that one too.

The crux of this "thinking bad stuff" is probably down to deeper issues of self esteem and self confidence. You're by no means 'mental' or a trainwreck - but what you're describing is a process of becoming overly self conscious and attaching relevance to things that are not really that relevant.


The responses you're getting (or not getting!) in conversation may be for a number of reasons - and without knowing the content of the conversation it's impossible to say - but I'd generally suggest it's either:

a) they didn't understand what you said - it may be you thought something through in your head but when you said it, it didn't come out the same and theyt weren't sure what you meant.

b) they understood what you said - but there was no simple answer and no-one knew how to respond.

I guess the important thing about this sense of being 'in a game' is that when things happen that support your theory - you're going to notice it more and attach significance to it more (it's a thing we all do called 'confirmation bias') - and with that, it's going to add to your belief. In reality, probably a thousand things a day happen that don't support your theory and you go about your day like the rest of us without giving it a second thought.

When those moments happen, and it feels a little surreal, I taught myself to recognise them and understand that it could be a game - or it could be reality - but chances are, this is reality - cos everything else that doesn't happen points to that too. Eventually I got to realising I was still noticing these events and yet I was simply smiling to myself and thinking - I used to think that was deliberate/about me/some great plan.

Today I took the girlfriend to the doctors - we were running late - and we hit traffic and roadworks - making us more late. Coincidence?

Yes. Of course it bloody was

Ian

Confirmation Bias wikilink : http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Confirmation_bias

I hand that same problem before!!!!! I tought inwas the only one !!
I found out like yan said that it was because i was thinking too much... Its hard tomexplain but
You ask yourself too much questions lime why that or what if ... Ive worked on that and now im done with that feeling

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And what helped me a lot is thinking : so what if its unreal ill just play the game and see whats after...

My little bro often waked up in tears (we were sharing e same room) because he tought he was deas and he was just "dreaming" about life i thing those fears are close