Hi, my nickname is 3Cs. I am a grown-up writing a book about ways to deal with bullies in grades K-5. I would appreciate any true stories you are going through now (if you are in those grades) or that you can recall from during that time. I will not use your real name. I do want to have real events that real kids are dealing with, rather than just pulling events from my imagination.

Here is a true story that happened to me back when I was in 2nd and 3rd grade. At the time, I was a skinny, scrawny girl who cried easily whenever I got my feelings hurt. As I recall it, these two boys would punch me in the stomach nearly every day at recess. As this happened over 40 years ago, I can't recall if they were in my same grade. I know they were not in my same class. I think they were one year older than I was. The playground was really large, and they always managed to do it when the teachers were not looking. I believe only one of them did the punching and the other one was the look-out. I would run and tell the teacher, but they either wouldn't or couldn't help me. I think the fact that I cried so easily really wore them out. They probably felt helpless to help me, and often, people who feel helpless, get angry or impatient.

I don't remember if I told my parents about it. I know I told my older brother. He was three years older than me. He kept telling me that I had to force myself not to cry. He also told me that I had to make myself laugh and smile, even though it hurt physically and emotionally. Toward the end of 3rd grade, I finally took his advice. I forced myself not to cry. I even made myself laugh and smile. They started hitting me more and more softly. Finally, because they could no longer get a negative reaction out of me, they got totally bored and left me alone. I was so thrilled. I was looking forward to a bully-free 4th grade year. Unfortunately, my Dad got transferred to another state, so I never got to benefit from that experience with those two boys. It was a lesson that I never forgot though.

That's one of my bully stories. If you are willing, please share yours. I would appreciate stories that would include whether you are a boy or a girl, what grade you were in, were you the victim or the bully, what happened, how you dealt with it, and were you able to make him or her stop. I appreciate you being willing to help. My goal is to help kids today to deal with bullying-type situations.

Best Wishes to you all,
3Cs

Sorry, can't share a story for you cause I've never been bullied.That never happened in my school for some reason.

I'm sorry to hear what you had to go through though and well done for finding a way to overcome it. I think bullying is awful and it impacts peoples lives very much and I think children who get bullied should be protected by teachers, parents etc.

Im the same really. I was teased a little at school and cant say I have good memories but I wasnt exactly bullied. Whats the interpretation of bullying anyway? Does just calling names constitute bullying in your eyes?

for me growing up i was teased for my learning disablity (i didn't learn as fast as other students) through the 4-5 grade.. i was made fun of this for as long as could remember and i didn't care what people thought of me till it got worse till i let it blow over. but it didn't. i didn't want any teachers to get invovle in this soit kept up throught out jr. high

whats grade 4 in uk school anyone no or what ages are people in grade 4

This is a quote from a person who answered my bullying question in another forum:

"In Britain You start school at age 5. Ages 5 to 11 = Primary school. (I think you call them Elementary Schools in America) Ages 11 to 18 = High School. Here is a breakdown:

Ages 5-6 - Primary 1 (Some schools label it as Y or Year)
Ages 6-7 - Primary 2
Ages 7-8 - Primary 3
Ages 8-9 - Primary 4
Ages 9-10 - Primary 5
Ages 10-11 - Primary 6

High schools vary in their labeling of the years. Some carry on from the primary system. So that your first year of High School is labelled Year 7. Others, like my last school, start the counter again. So your first year at school is "1st Year" or "Y1" or even "S1"

What year you go into at Primary or High School also depends on when your birthday is.
Your last day of Primary school is the end of spring term when you're 11 as the schools break up for the summer (Sometime in the first 2 weeks of July). After the Summer vacation you start at High school."

I hope this helps.
Best Wishes,
3Cs =]

Thanks for clearing that one up 3Cs

Jonnyjonny_uk Wrote:Im the same really. I was teased a little at school and cant say I have good memories but I wasnt exactly bullied. Whats the interpretation of bullying anyway? Does just calling names constitute bullying in your eyes?

To Jonnyjonny_uk,
Thanks for you note. In my mind, teasing is not bullying if you both are having fun. I recall that in 5th grade, a girl put me down. I started to get offended. She responded, "I was just kidding!" I decided right then and there that nobody is really kidding or teasing when they make a negative comment about you. They are saying what they really think. They just cover it up like a wolf in sheep's clothing, but they are still being a wolf. Name-calling is definitely one way of bullying somebody if that person's intent is to cause hurt feelings or to try to overpower you. It's how their name-calling makes you feel that determines if you felt bullied or simply teased. I hope that makes sense.

By the way, I met a social worker from Chicago once who worked in a home for unwed mothers. She had this kind of cool response she taught her girls to do when they were called a name they didn't like. For example, let's say you were called ugly. You would respond in a calm, joking manner, "If you are going to call me that, at least put a handle on it. It's Miss Ugly. (or Mr. Ugly)."

Have a great day!
Best Wishes, 3Cs ;]

i_was_a_self-injurer Wrote:for me growing up i was teased for my learning disablity (i didn't learn as fast as other students) through the 4-5 grade.. i was made fun of this for as long as could remember and i didn't care what people thought of me till it got worse till i let it blow over. but it didn't. i didn't want any teachers to get invovle in this soit kept up throught out jr. high

Sorry to hear you had to go through that. I hope your life is much happier for you now!
Best Wishes,
3Cs

I used to be bullied but Im not anymore. I told my parents and they sorted it out. If it was physical bulliyng, I'd fight back in self defence and if it was verbal bullying, I'd just laugh and say thanks. Now I'm in high school, she doesnt really bother me anymore.

I was bullied for being quiet. They seemed to have this thing with trying to get me to talk, they just went on and on about it. Which just made me more scared to talk, infact hardly spoke. One thing I remember ( There is loads but this sticks at the moment) I was sitting on a wall in the playground( on my own of course!) at break, when for a laugh a boy in my class came and sat near me and put his arm round me, which doesn't seem like much but to me at the time was horrible, especially as almost the whole playground was laughing at it.

not sure if this will count as bullying or not. but when i was in kindergarden this girl decided to call me fat. i started to only pack half of a sandwich, a juice, and a small snack.. my mom thought it was just a phase that i would grow out of.. until she started to relize it was still going on so she asked me about it and she toke it to the princpal about it

In my mind name-calling is a form of bullying... it's just verbal. Teasing can hurt as much as any physical act...

I never used to think I was bullied, but after reading this... maybe I was. And maybe I still am, in a sense.

I think it was back in kindergarten when this kid kept following me around and kept pelting me with rocks. I didn't have any friends and I think I just sat alone on the swings. I tried to ignore it or told him to stop, but eventually I decided to go to one of the recess aides, and she told me to stop tattling! It made me very angry back then. Since then I haven't considered it a big deal but right now... I think that one incident had more of an impact on me than I ever realized. Yes, now I'm *-* off. That, I believe, has made me more afraid of saying what I'm feeling. Adults need to wake up and smell the coffee.

Speaking of adults, my fifth grade teacher wrote a letter home saying I was being teased (which I had no idea, and I still have no clue what the - she was talking about). And she pretty much harassed me and my mom. I can't really remember much about it. But when I went to middle school the principal also called home about turning me over to some service or something because I was so quiet. Maybe it isn't bullying, I don't know. But right now I feel like it is...

I could probably keep going, but yeah, I'll keep it K-5, haha.

My eldest told me she was being bullied in school.... soon fixed it and no-one dares to bully her again.

Zack Wrote:My eldest told me she was being bullied in school.... soon fixed it and no-one dares to bully her again.

Can you share how Zack or is it best left private?