Hi im eddie, I have been suffering with OCD for 2 or more years now, I greatly fear germs and wash my hands and change my clothes regulary throughout the day, and this is the first time i've joined a forum like this. Mainly because i dont like admitting I have a problem to myself let alone others. Right now im in my bedroom, which is where quite frankly i spend most of my day. Im posting because I seem to be getting very angry as of late with myself for being like this, and im not sure how to deal with it. For example simple stuff gets me angry now to the point where I could scream, but for some reason i cant let it out. The anger is building up inside and i know im going to let it out at the people i love. I dont mean this in a harmfull way, but in a vocal way. Im not one for raising my voice but as of late im finding myself constantly snapping at my mom for asking me to do simple tasks. But i know these tasks will envolve me washing my hands afterwards which upsets and frustrates me. Im constantly on edge, nervous about moving around and accidently touching something. I dont really know what im posting for, im just confused and not sure what the hell is going on with me right now.

Hi Eddie!
You don't have to be ashamed because of what you're feeling or because of the fact that you are obsessed with hand washing and germs. It happens to anyone, and we have to accept it.
You don't know why your posting here, but in fact you do. you're seeking help, everyone here does.
And we're all here to help you, let's start with the anger in general, the anger is a strong feeling of annoyance, displeasure, or hostility (which is not the case here). Here it's mostly annoyance. Well let me tell you something here Eddie, mothers are annoying, every single one of them, but we can't do anything about it they gave us life and we shall respect them for whoever they are and for whatever they ask us to do. She loves you, and you know that very well, but you can't help the feeling of anger. But you can't blame her, because she doesn't know that you are suffering from OCD. You might not want to tell her, but I advise you to do so. Because a mother has a solution for every problem, and knows exactly how to cheer her son up, and she has an answer for every question you have in mind. So, I say that you tell her frankly that you are getting annoyed from her redundant tasks and you're afraid that you might hurt her if this continues, so asks her to stop asking you to do anything that has to do with germs and hand washing. And continue with the fact that you have OCD.
And welcome to the forum Eddie

Welcome to oFear Eddie.

Nour's post covered most of what I was going to say, but I think I'll just add a bit to it.

As she suggested, talking to your Mom is a good idea. I understand that you're embarrassed about this stuff but, in all reality, you have absolutely nothing to feel embarrassed about. I have OCD myself and one of the things that's helped the most is telling people exactly how things make me feel and being completely honest with them. I tell them things I can't do because they cause upset with me as far as my OCD goes, and for the most part, they try to accommodate me. Like with things like garbage. I have trouble dealing with garbage bags (carrying them out to the bin, etc) because doing so makes me feel dirty. So, someone else does that for me. It was hard to explain all this stuff to my Mom, etc because, as you do, I'm slightly embarrassed by it, but it's something that needs to be talked about. If it's not, it could just lead to further problems.

Anger issues are explainable too, I think. Obviously taking our anger towards ourselves out on others isn't fair, but it's understandable. You seem to have a problem with the fact that you suffer from OCD (as you mentioned it embarrasses you, etc). So, maybe part of the anger comes from that too?

Again, talk about things. Sometimes anger can be dealt with by just being open with people and telling them about what upsets you.

Having a fear of germs or being dirty is fairly popular with those who have OCD. So, you're definitely not alone. The majority of us understand and relate.

No matter what, you're not alone in what you feel. Keep that in mind.