Ruining everyday life
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04-24-2015, 12:04 AM
Post: #1
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Ruining everyday life
In year 7 i was watching a video in science and there was blood (Id never had a problem before) Anyway, i started feeling sick and i ignored it. I started feeling sicker and sicker by the minute, and i just kept doing my work. it got too bad and i turned to my friend and said, "i dont feel well." They said go to the teacher, and i said no. Then i said it again, and i turned to her, and she was all blurry. And her voice started turning into a murmur and then it was just a high pitched noise that hurt my ears. I think i said i couldnt see her properly. And i said wheres the teacher as i was looking frantically around the room, which was completely blurry. I tried to make my way to the other side of the room. I think she was yelling where he was. She thought i was joking.. I remember standing up for like 5 second and everything had pixelated and then faded into black, until all i could hear was the noise. I dont remember after that. I do remember waking up and throwing up as everyone walked passed me because the bell had gone. I had stood up, ran into a desk, walked forward into the wall, tripping over the bin, and smacking my head on the science desk. I'd never had anyting happen to me like that before.
Anyway, im no in year 12, and for years i've been spoken down to by my parents for my fear. I have read ones like mine, and thats made me feel better. I can't deal with the word blood. Reading it, hearing and eand even now typing about it makes my hands go all numb and gross. i have to keep stopping. I can not deal with the pulse. I cant touch anyones neck. I hate seeing or touching anyones inner elbow, behind the knee, wrist or anywhere that thin and i can see veins or pulse. it makes me sick to my stomach. If somebody brings up in conversation anything about the heart, lungs, pulse, blood or anything like it i feel so sick, and my body feels like its going to explode. it' like everything tightens, and goes numb. I had another experience where i went to watch breaking dawn, i can sometimes watch movies with blood. When its stupid. I cant ever deal with people puposely cutting themselves, or nose bleeds. But it caught me off guard. I knew she was going to drink the blood from the cup. However, when she did it hit me.. i felt so hot, and sick.. i asked my brother to come to the bathroom. I didnt feel very strong. he said go by myself. I finally worked up the courage after my breathing increased ad my temperature. i remember standing up and walking down the stairs, i bumped into someone. i was swaying everywhere.. thats all i remember though. I woke up on the ground in front of the whole audience. I had walked down atleast 20 stairs unknowingly and then just dropped to the floor and woke up and spew. I've also slammed my finger in the car door, and felt sick. I was driven all the way home, and my father tried to bandage it and i said dont touch it it makes mefeel sick. anyway he ignored me and put it on. I fainted and hit my head. I've passed out and vomited everywhere when i've had my recent needles. And, i had a nose bleed in agriculture, and i went dizzy, and had to go to the staffroom. (there was barely any blood) just drops of it.. and apparently i was green and i dont remember what they were saying to me, i was just so sick and out of it as i layed on the floor there. But yes, i cant deal with anything to do with blood or the body. Sometimes when i see my veins, especially in a hot shower it actually makes me feel sick and i have cried. I dont know why, it just brings a really sick feeling to my body and i've just broken down. I hate the feeling of it. I cant even see little scabs or anything. It's really effecting me because i do not want to faint. Its the worst feeling in the world and it really takes it out of me, but i am supposed to go for blood tests but i have said no. My mother wants me to go, but i cant. i know i will faint and be sick, plus there may be way more and surgery if i do have what they think i have. I cant even have my blood pressure taken. I was all calm, didnt think it would bother me... until it stopped, and the lady had walked away leaving it on me.. All i could feel was the throbbing of my pulse through my body, and i tried to ignore it, but i felt so sick, and i could feel it and i had to hold back the tears. It terrifies me. The whole situation. And the worst part is, people dont believe me until they witness the outcome of talking about it, or showing me something. My mum thinks its stupid, and puts me down. She compares it to her spider phobia, and laughs and makes me feel like an idiot. I've told her i cant help it. sorry its so long... i just really needed to get it all out. (sorry if there are mistakes). |
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04-27-2015, 04:52 PM
Post: #2
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RE: Ruining everyday life
Its easy for ignornat people, be they friends or family, to underestimate the problems and seriousness of having a phobia.
People just do not understand. I have an extreme fear of heights and people say "just close your eyes", "dont look down"........get real people.....i have issues watching something on TV that involves heights. I do believe that to conquer, or even control the issue that you are going to need expert help and i can only urge you to discuss it with your GP and seek assistance. You deserve to be free of this horrid phobia so please, seek help. You deserve much better ![]() Lifesupporters.com: Peer support. Self Hypnosis mp3 Downloads - Learn to relax, ease your fears and improve self esteem. |
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