Hey I'm fedex! I'm an 18 year old male! I was diagnosed with depression 6 months ago and have been on celexa (citralopram) forb5 months! The reason I went on the meds was due to unwanted gay thoughts! I have been going to cbt and these thoughts have got a lot better! I have been with my gf for 10 months through all the hard times and she is great!
Recently however I have begun to panic that I can't remember her or picture her when shes away from me! She's up at uni and only home at the weekends! When's she with me it's ok cos I can see her!
The thing is if I forgot or couldn't picture a family member or friend I wouldnt worry however it's a real stress when I can't picture or Remember my gf! I then question my love for her etc!
The mess have also given me terrible dreams like violent dreams and dreams that I might cheat on my gf! I'm scared of this! What do you think the problem is? Pls anyone reply with any advice or answers ASAP! Thanks

Welcome to the forum Fedex!

Bear in mind that the more you focus and worry about your anxiety, the worse the anxiety will get, and so the more you’ll focus on it… It very quickly becomes a vicious circle.

Though much, much easier said than done, I would try and distract myself from the thoughts. Have you perhaps learnt any form of thought stoppage in your CBT sessions?

Could your medication be helping to cause the dreams you’ve mentioned? Looking on the internet, it does seem to be a possible side effect of citralopram, and if I remember correctly, when I was on it (for social anxiety), the medication did give me weird dreams.

Also, I definitely recommend you talk to your doctor/ CBT practitioner.

Hey Fedex

I just wanted to say hello and welcome to the forum.

Mate, im afraid i have no advice for you but i do kow that by talking to Globetrotter, then you are in very good hands.

Well done for confronting your issues, that is a very hard and very brave step